My guardian of Bloody eyes
by Konous the grey
Summary: Alone and abandoned by his father Shinji is picked up by a person offering him a fresh start on life, a man of red hair, pale skin, and bloody eyes, Chapter 6 up, fixed somethings up in the new chapter, the website URL is now fixed. Thanks Danny le fou!
1. Default Chapter:Prolouge, Bloody eyes

Authors notes: this is a look at how the series would be different should Shinji have been raised by someone who made him feel like he had a place in the world, and that their were people who loved him. And now, on with the story.  
  
My Guardian of Bloody Eyes Prologue  
  
By: Konous the grey  
  
The rain pelted on the asphalt of the sidewalk, the world had been painted an everlasting grey, the curtain of rain clouds had hidden the sun from those who would seek its comforting rays. The city, Osaka 2 had seen worse storms, but you could not deny the terribleness of this storm, not that it was powerful, by any means, it was a light drizzle at best. But it was the kind of storm that came when one was saddened, possibly from the loss of a friend, or from physical pain. But no, this storm was not from loss, or harm of physical nature, this sadness came from....... ......abandonment. In an alley, between two competitive clothes shops, sniffles and whimpers could be heard as tears, mixed with rain, splashed into the ground below.  
  
These tears came from a boy, no older than perhaps three or 4 years of age, huddled in a fetal position. What one would first notice was the unruly mop of brown hair, matted against his scalp. Next his Cobalt eyes which until recently, had carried the innocence that all children share, for they know not of the evils which infest this world, yet it seemed the boy had lost his innocence already. The boy seemed to be wearing a horizontal striped T-shirt, brown shorts, and strap on shoes. The boy, so caught up in his depression, that he did not notice someone approach him, until that is they spoke and made their presence known.  
  
"Why is it that one so young as you should be crying young man?" Inquired the person. The boy looked up from his spot lying on the concrete alley. When he looked up he saw a rather tall man possibly 6 ft 7in. The mans hair was one of his most, if not the most, noticeable feature on him. It was red. Not the dark orange that is normally associated with this color, no, his hair was a blood red. Then his face which was extremely pale, very pale so pale he could be considered albino. His eyes were the same color as that of his hair, with the pupil so small they seemed to not exist.  
  
The man was wearing a black jump suit so tight that it conformed and molded over his body like a second skin. Because of its skin tight nature the boy could clearly make out the large set of abs which were a symbol of a man who had gone through great lengths of physical training and endurance. Last but not least were the runes located all over his jump suit once again blood red was their chosen color. The ruins, if one was well versed in Old Catholic traditions were symbols to represent every sin a person had committed.  
  
The young boy sniffed once, trying to not look weak in front of the stranger. "P- p- papa l-left me." He stuttered still in the effects of crying. This caught the mans attention it seemed, as he asked another question. "Why did he leave you young one?" The man asked kneeling before the boy. The child, having regained more control over his speech spoke once more. "Because Mama left." The then returned to his tears.  
The man was shocked; this boy had faced similar circumstances to his life. "Hey, don't cry little one it'll be alright, wipe those tears from your eyes." The boy looked at the man then began to wipe his eyes clean, the boy stood up getting eye level with the man. "Now, what's your name little one?" Asked the man. The boy looked down for a second looked back up and put on his best smile. "Shinji Ikari, sir." Answered young Shinji. The man was taken aback by that name.  
  
It was not the Childs first name, but his surname. There was not a day that went by that he didn't think of the last person he knew by that name. 'So you let him take on your name instead of you taking his, well see what your choice in a husband has done!' The man thought to himself. Shinji was looking at the man expectantly with his eyes still blurry with tears. The man gazed back at the lad and put on one of his first smiles.  
  
The man place his hands on Shinji's shoulder, the man smiled and asked. "Now don't you worry Shinji, your Papa won't leave you anymore, from now on I will be your Papa. Would you like that Shinji? Young Shinji you see did not posses the knowledge of distrust of deals too good to be true yet, so the idea immediately appealed to him. The boy of no older than 4 looked at the man smiled so wide and happily that at that moment the storm stopped, the clouds disappeared revealing the sun once more. Shinji of course agreed. The man, understanding Shinji took the boys hand in his own, and the two walked out of the alley both smiling at their new found friendship. Shinji looked at his new Papa, and using the curiosity that all children have, asked him a question. "Um, Papa ...... what's your name?" The man looked at Shinji, his smile becoming even warmer, if that was possible, answered him. "My name Shinji, is Id."  
  
Author's second note: First off I'm planning on taking this series from episode 1 to EOE, which will definitely have a happier ending than the original. Please excuse any grammar errors or spelling mistakes I may have made. Comments and Constructive criticism will be appreciated. I'm also looking for pre-readers, would anyone be willing to do some charity.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or Xenogears, if I did Xenosaga would have been a lot better. 


	2. Ah, just a normal day in my life

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or xenogears, I wish I did, but thems the breaks.  
  
Authors note: Hi all, probably angry at me for writing such a non descriptive fic for my first chapter, well believe it or not this is my first fic, so for my first try I'd say this is pretty good, now as to where we are in the story, Shinji has just gotten his letter from Gendo (King of Bastards), he is now on his way to Tokyo 3, unaware of the impending Angel attack, but this Shinji isn't the average Shinji, as you would know if you read my prologue, he has been raised by Id, the Contact of rage and destruction, but this Id you will see is slightly different than the one in xenogears, after living with Shinji Id has gotten a tender side, as you will see in the story when he becomes an active character. Shinji too has changed, due to training under the Slayer of God, Shinji is now braver, stronger, faster, sadly however Id did not teach Shinji about the ladies, so expect Shinji to possibly suffer from the old "Foot in mouth disease", and also expect Rei to be a little OOC, it's my first time okay, cut me some slack here. This Shinji however is still gonna have aspects of the old Shinji, his value for human life to name one. Also, Shinji is a Contact, or a being that has been favored by God, or come in contact with God, hence the name. But his powers haven't developed yet, so right now all he has is martial arts, and increased physical abilities. Now let's get this story started.  
  
My guardian of Bloody eyes chapter 1: Ah just a normal day in my life.  
  
In the ocean one can expect to see numerous amounts of aquatic life, fish for instance, one of the few species not highly affected by Second Impact, maybe a dolphin, shark, or even a whale. However what most people don't expect to see is a 40 meter tall humanoid gliding just under the ocean surface. Fish of all types scattered from the creature, instincts told them, if it's bigger than you, than it will eat you if it chooses. And so believing this the fish instantly scattered even before the creature had come 3 miles from it. While fish may leave, dolphins are another matter.  
  
Curious creatures dolphins, always trying to under stand things, and it gets them in trouble some times, like when some decide they want to see how a boat propeller works up close, and are inevitably torn into pieces. But as always curios, even now when this 40 meter creature moves through the ocean they can't help but wonder, "How does it move without flippers or any mode of propellant." While dolphins might not know actual term for something that pushes you along, they did under stand this, movement in water= movement in some direction, so they knew if flap your arms they knew you'd move in some direction, albeit not much, but still move.  
  
And that's what they couldn't under stand, this creature wasn't moving in any way to cause this gliding movement, so as always the dolphins wanted to check it out. The creature seemed to ignore them; its business lay not with the sea life, but with a certain species that had angered a certain deity. It had been years since it had been called to "Dispense holy justice upon the Lilum," as Luriel put it. Back in the days when God was a rather jealous deity he had often sent this creature, whose name was Sachiel, to wreak havoc, bring plague, and occasionally have his way with the local women. Of course back then he'd been Lilum sized, not like today, today he'd been given a significant boost in power, when he'd asked why The Power, The Word, or God as the Lilum called him, showed him the significant changes in human society. So they sent down  
  
Adam to bring swift destruction upon them, to remind them, "God is still here, he tolerated your wars, your rape of this planet long enough!" Hoping that Adams attack would unite the humans to band together and help one another as they usually did when something of this magnitude happened, Adam initiated Second Impact. However just the opposite happened, the humans began blaming one another, wars started between multiple countries in the east and west. So then God sent him, and would send the others if he failed, to restart the Lilums, but because of their advancements in technology, even his powers would not be enough. So God made his into a giant super behemoth. The one problem was he couldn't transform in a Lilum, go into one of their pubs, and seduce some women into having sex with him now, when he'd asked the Master that he'd promptly started yelling at him. And like most children Sachiel could not stand to have his "Father" yell at him. So now here he was gliding along the ocean, wishing he could get some, what was the word, "Pointing" odd terms these Lilums have he thought to himself, and he still wasn't sure he was going the right way.  
  
'Now let's see, was it left or right at Albuquerque?' Sachiel thought to himself.  
  
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On a maglev train heading towards Tokyo 2, a young man of about 5ft 7" was sitting in his seat, quietly listening to his SDAT tapes, it was one of the few possessions he had, besides his clothes, and a picture of him and his guardian, that however was lying in his suit case next to him, so out of sight out of mind. The boy had an unruly mop of brown hair, was wearing a blue under shirt, white button up, black cargo pants, and a new pair of tennis shoes. By the boy's posture one could easily deduce he was brooding rather heavily on something, as his eyes had a far away look to them. If one could delve into the boys mind then one would see he was dreading what was about to pass. For over 10 years he had lived with a man who went by the name Id, he had taught the boy all he knew, martial arts, math, history, science, english, and mastery over his chi. Id had been harsh as an instructor, efficient as a teacher, and caring as a father, at least more so than his biological one. And that was exactly why, this boy was brooding, exactly one day ago, just yesterday he'd gotten a letter from his father. The letter wasn't a greeting or a fathers idea of checking up with his son, no all the letter had was one word all the letters capitalized. The word was: COME.  
  
Just like that his father expected him to come crawling at his beck and call. When he read it he'd started laughing so hard his sides hurt. He'd just found it hysterically funny that his father would want him to COME after abandoning him on the street to be picked up by his aunt and uncle. However they never came, and so after waiting for 2 hours in the rain, he'd realized now that they'd ditched him, but back then he hadn't figured it out. He'd dutifully waited, just like they expected him to. Then Id had found him huddled near a dumpster, and that had been the day that his life changed forever.  
  
On a maglev train heading towards Tokyo 3, Shinji Ikari uttered one word from his mouth. "Father."  
  
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Over near the edge of Tokyo 2, on a road that ran along the side of a mountain, an 12 entire platoons of JSSDF tanks sat in waiting for there query. It had been 3 hours since the target had been spotted near Albuquerque 2, and every one was getting a bit anxious. Where the hell is that damn monster was the unified thought over every commander in charge of giving orders in the tank. Finally when their patience had dried up they heard the words they'd been waiting for all day. ^Tank platoons 1 through 12, this is UN command, the target is nearing your position, I repeat the target is nearing your position^. Finally, they were gonna see some action. All the tank units loaded up their cannons and awaited the coming of the beast. They then received the creature's exact position of radar, and then heard the words they'd been waiting for all day. ^Fire at will^.  
  
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Sachiel had finally found out it was left at Albuquerque, when he'd gone right he'd ended up at a place called Disney world, or what was left of it. Retracing his steps, err glides, he finally arrived at Tokyo 3, however, what he saw as he neared the shore, was a bunch of tiny boxes, with a long pole on the end. In two seconds Sachiel quickly learned why they were there. However, what the people in the tanks didn't learn, as they continued their assault on the Messenger, was that AT-fields do not break easily, and what they also learned was that Sachiels eye beams break them easily. Needless to say, the fight was over before it actually began. Sachiel stood tall and proud, surveying his handiwork. All that was left of the 12 platoons were a bunch of scrap. Suddenly Sachiel heard the sound VTOL engines and rocket launchers. Quickly looking over at his new adversaries, Sachiel looked at them and blinked as a few bullets got in his eyes.  
  
'Ooooooh, birdies! Catch the birdies.' However, when it comes to 'catching', Sachiel applied just a wee bit too much force.  
  
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"A state of emergency has been declared for the following districts......" Stepping of the maglev train, Shinji tuned the monotone voice as best he could. Looking up at the sky he noticed some VTOLs flying over head heading past the mountains. 'Is it a war, what's going on here?' Quickly noticing a pay phone, Shinji walked over at a leisurely pace. Picking up the phone and using some 30 yen in his pocket to pay for expenses Shinji dialed the operator, however all he got was "Due to a state of emergency your call can not be transferred...." Shinji quickly hung up the phone.  
  
Sighing the boy pulled out a letter with a picture attached by a paper clip. The letter read "I'll be coming to pick you up so be there At 5:00." The picture was of a lavender haired women leaning over giving those looking at the picture an easy view of her cleavage. Written in lipstick were the the words: like what you see? With an arrow pointing towards noted cleavage. Just below this was some more lipstick in the shape of a kiss mark. A P.S. note was written next to the kiss mark. 'My name's Misato.' However it was now 5:50 and still the women had not come to pick him up, and quiet frankly he was worried. More VTOLs had been going in the same direction as the ones from before, and he was hearing the faint sound of explosions in the distance. Then he felt it, a feeling he only got when some one was watching him. Id had taught him to listen to these feelings, for they were usually right.  
  
Quickly scanning the nearby area for any enemies Shinji noticed something that hadn't come to his attention...........at least until now. At the other end of the street was a girl with blue hair, extremely pale skin, and.......red eyes! 'Is she like Id?' Shinjj didn't quite know, that train of thought never completed it self. Suddenly a deep vibration shook the ground, causing him to almost lose his footing, as he fell he couldn't help but realize how much power that vibration had, it couldn't have been an earth quake, it was too short, so where did it come from? Shinji soon got his answer, looking over at mountains Shinji saw the same VTOLs from before, flying in reverse, they were shooting at something still hidden by the mountain. Shortly afterward that something came into view. Its arms were lanky and an oily black color. It had 3 claws like fingers with piston spikes extruding from the elbow that would slam forward exiting from the palm of its hands. Its torso was very compressed, like all the muscle in the body had been put in one place. At the top of its top of its body was what appeared to be a large white mask with a large protruding beak like attachment. Tearing his sight from the large behemoth Shinji noticed the girl had disappeared. "Hm, my chaperone is late, I've seen an albino phantom, and a giant monster is destroying the city. Pretty normal all things considered." He said in a nonchalant tone.  
  
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The few that knew Sachiel personally understood one thing about him. He was a schizophrenic. His inner child was constantly trying to stay in control over his inner adult. You see Sachiel was at that point in age where a person can't be called child or adult, he was a teenager. At this moment his inner child was in control and he had finally caught one of the VTOLs without breaking it. He then began spinning around, his arm outstretched with the VTOL in hand. Needless to say, the g-forces quickly killed the pilots, so when Sachiels grip loosened, they never felt the pain of hitting the ground then exploding. And like all children once his focus of attention was gone he looked for a new one.  
  
He then spotted Shinji  
  
'Ooooooh a new dolly!'  
  
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Shinji was very thankful of the sprinting endurance training Id had put him through. Now he was able run at up to 60 mph for about 20 minutes without breaking a sweat. He was gonna need it, the thing chasing him was going 20 mph but its steps took it a huge distance. 'Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!' While Id was not the most mannerly gifted of men, he had taught Shinji that cursing was entirely unacceptable. Continue his run Shinji then spotted a blue Renault moving at speeds dangerously close to his own.  
  
Shinji while he had not yet realized his Contact powers he did have some serious physical enhancements, super speed, mega strength, enhanced intelligence, he also has scoping eye sight, and a pheromone that attracts women. Using his scoping eye sight Shinjis view of who was in the Renault increased. 'Misato.' Quickly taking in a deep breath he yelled out, "MISATO OVER HERE!" Yelled Shinji.  
  
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Misato was late, (like that's anything new.) she had been supposed to pick up the Third Child but she'd been having an extra beer. Was it her fault that Yebisu tastes so good! Then headquarters had called notifying her of her tardiness, more like they threatened to throw out all of her beer. So she revved up her Renault and took the streets by storm. Not five minutes later she spotted the Third Child running like all hell was after him, looking behind him she realized it was heaven not hell. Never did her mind register how fast he was actually going. The Angel was chasing him like crack head trying to get his fix. She immediately knew what to do, she did a quick turn about so that the passenger side door was facing the boy and Angel.  
  
Shinji quickly did a running dive through the open window of the Renault and into the seat. "Go go go!" Ordered Shinji. Misato didn't need any one to tell her that. Quickly hitting the nitrous booster button she had installed in case she needed to burn rubber, this was such a case. Soon the car was blazing the roads at a speed 230mph, leaving Sachiel in the dust.  
  
'Awwww , dolly go zoom zoom. Now what do I do for fun.' Looking to his left he noticed some more VTOLs, however these ones were armed with air to ground missiles as long as Sachiel was tall. Quickly the schizophrenic Angels adult side took over and prepared for battle. 'Well Mr. bird, is that a missile on your under belly, or are you happy to see me?'  
  
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After exiting the city of Tokyo 2 Misato turned off the nitrous she breathed a sigh of relief. Looking over at her passenger she smiled a mischievous smile. 'Hm, cute face, if I were his age I think I might date him.' What Misato quickly noticed was how much the boy didn't look like the Commander. The unruly brown hair, as far as she could see, was where the resemblance ended. What she had been expecting was a boy of 14 a little scrawny, and kinda short from living a life of luxury. What she didn't expect was a boy who looked 16 with powerful muscles, not so much as big, but dense from constant usage, his abs, she could see through the shirt, looked like some one had taken a chisel and carved them from rocks. But his body wasn't that of a body builder, she could see that his leg muscles were just as well toned as his arms. Misato began drooling 'Oh yes, definitely date him.' Driving up to a nearby hill she parked the car just so her window could get a good view of the city. "Hey Shinji?"  
  
"Yeah?" Asked the boy, slightly nervous from the way she'd been looking at him.  
  
"Can you get my binoculars, their in the back." The young boy crawled in between the two front seats looking for the binoculars. This however gave Misato nice little view of his behind. 'Ladies and gentlemen its a full moon tonight.' she though to her self. Still staring at it she couldn't help but think, 'And what a moon it is!' Misato was not what you'd call a tramp, her hormone levels were just higher than the average female. Part of this was she liked 'squeezing' things. One of those 'things' being the behinds of good looking men. Having viewed the boys body had put her in 'that' kind of mood. Reaching out ever so slowly she prepared to get as much as she could in one squeeze. 'Just a little more, little closer, just a wee bit...'  
  
"Misato, I've found them." Said the oblivious male  
  
'Damn, so close!' Thought the unsatisfied women. "Thanks a lot Shinji." Taking the binoculars in hand she zoomed in on the Angel. It was currently fighting off another squadron of VTOLs, then suddenly they all flew away. Then a lone Plane came moving very slowly until it began circling the Angel, the bomb bay doors opened to let something small and sparkling fall to the ground. "Oh God! They're using an N2 mine! Shinji get down!" Throwing the binoculars to the floor she dived at the boy, taking him under his seat. When the bomb hit the ground a blaring white explosion coursed through out the city, vaporizing all that it touched.  
  
When the shockwave hit it blew the car topsy turvy until it landed on the passenger side. Shinji whom was momentarily knocked out, felt something running its hands over his chest. Before he could find out what it was it stopped, he then heard a voice "Shinji are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, ugh, um Misato, what was that?" Misato looked over at the boy as she helped him out of the car and into the after noon air.  
  
"That Shinji was an N2 mine, the JSSDFs last resort." She said looking grim.  
  
"Um not that Misato, something was touching me, did you see it?" Misato then turned a distinct shade of red reserved only for tomatoes.  
  
"Oh I wouldn't worry about that, I mean its not as if something like that happens all the time, you know but I would have seen something so it couldn't have happened, Imeantheresnowayitwasme, after all. But any how," She said holding out her gloved hand. "It's nice to finally meet you Ikari Shinji."  
  
Authors notes:ugh my fingers are broken, so much typing, thank you all who gave me reviews, I really didn't expect any one to read my series, I mean I'm a first time writer and all. Like I said I'm taking this series from episode 1 to EoE, thanks for all the reviews, it really means a lot to me. If your wondering about the parings, I'm the impartial type, so expect some competition between Rei and Asuka. But once again thank you all for encouraging me to continue. If you think this chapter was too short I'm sorry but I'm running a tight schedule. However, I'm promise the next one will have Shniji kicking much but in Eva 1. Comments and Constructive criticisms will be appreciated, flames will be ignored, and I'm still looking for prereaders, any one willing. 


	3. Angel Massacre

Authors notes:Well I've gotten quite a few positive reviews so I'm gonna keep on going with this fic. Now as to if Id wiill end up with Asuka, (you have no idea how many people asked that) no, maybe if Shinji had been Id I would a paired the two together, but no, older guy and younger girl is just wrong. Now as to who Shinji's getting paired with, a bunch of people kept bugging me, so I'm going to make this a surprise paring fic. This chapter is going to be more serious than the last one, but it will have its funny parts.  
  
My guardian of Bloody eyes chapter 2: Angel massacre  
  
'The pain, sheer pain!' Were the thoughts of Sachiel as he tried to recover from the N2 strike. The gill like shoulders on his arms were taking in as much air as they could, trying to help increase his recovery. Due the extent of his injuries Sachiels body had prepared a second mask, in case the first got destroyed. This second head however also came with a second brain as well. And his first had not yet been destroyed. "Hiya, what's your name." As the head had only just been born it would of course talk like a child asking for the others persons name before giving them its. "Sachiel, what's yours?" Asked the painfully wounded Angel. It shall be noted that Sachiel is not the most intelligent of Angels. "Really, mine is too, let's play a game! I spy with my enormous eyes something, blue." And so the torture began, Sachiel (original) couldn't help but ask himself 'What did I do to deserve this?'  
  
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A beat up blue Renault cruised on a rode located on the side of a mountain, or rather large hill. In this blue Renault you'd notice a lavender haired woman, wearing a black dress that had a high skirt length, low neckline and conformed to the woman's body like a glove, needless to say, it left very little to the imagination. The woman's name was Misato Katsuragi, captain and head chief of battle tactics at NERV head quarters. The other person in the car was a boy of 14, with a build that of the statue David yet at the same time had excellent lower body strength, depicting that of someone who ran allot, so the boys stamina must have been through the roof. 'Get your mind out of the gutter Misato, he's the commanders son, no matter how much you might want to touch those muscles, he's still the son of one of the most cold hearted men on Earth, don't think about how large those muscles are, how nice a butt he's got, how much stamina he's got to have to give you the best night of your life, I must be cool calm and in control, I must not fantasize about his....'  
  
"Um, Misato-san?" Asked Shinji in a hesitant sort of way.  
  
Looking over at the young man Misato realized she'd been drooling and quickly wiped her face clean. "What is it Shinji-kun?"  
  
Looking at the back seats of the car Shinji couldn't help but stare. "Um, why did we raid that auto shop again?" Shinji said looking at the mountain of car batteries, enough to last a few life times.  
  
"Well Shinji-kun, we need a working car, and I'm a government official, this is a time of crisis, so we are allowed to barrow (without any intention of returning or compensating for.) resources in order to get our work done, okay?" She asked looking directly at him. Shinji was getting a little nervous as she continued that far away look with her mouth open.  
  
"Um actually I was wondering, why we raided that grocery store of all its beer." He said pointing to the even larger mountain of Yebisu brand beer. It would have to do for a few days.  
  
"Like I said Shinji-kun, I'm a government official and-." She stopped talking as just then Shinji threw his two cents in.  
  
"Pardon my interrupting Misato-san, but I don't think any one will buy that excuse."  
  
Misatos eye brows began twitching like mad. "You're not as cute as I thought you were." She said trying to give him the Evil Eye while sticking out her tongue. 'No its not that he's not as cute as before, its just going to take a little more to get him into bed.' It was never registered by her mind that she wasn't 'supposed' to seduce the commanders son, after all when had she ever listened to her conscience  
  
"Nor are you as mature as I thought you were." Shinji saying in a matter of fact voice. Yes conscience had left the building as Misato began to drive like mad while trying to strangle Shinji, and get a good feel but that was beside the point.  
  
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Mean while Sachiel was trying to guess what was blue in the hopes that the new Sachiel would shut up, his hopes were in vain. "Is it the ocean?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Is it the sky?"  
  
"Wrong again."  
  
'Is it the color I want your face to be as I strangle the last of the air from your body?' The Angel couldn't help but think.  
  
"Give up yet?"  
  
"Yes, yes I do, what is it?"  
  
The younger head err mask, pointed to a blue Renault that was pulling of an insane amount of stunts not seen in any action movie. Sachiels schizophrenic nature took over as he saw the blue Renault.  
  
"Dolly!" Sachiel tried to move, however, one should not attempt to move at high speeds while being injured, at the same time in soil that is partly melted. Needless to say, Sachiel proved him self being not only being and insane schizophrenic, but also incredibly clumsy. He soon learned why people do not like the taste of dirt.  
  
"Let's play again, this time something brown."  
  
If Sachiel had a neck he would have looked up at the sky and asked "Why God, why?!"  
  
Because I feel like it, that's why!  
  
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"Here, read this Shinji." Ordered Misato who was not in the best of moods. Why? Quite simple really, Shinji had avoided her attempts to get some thing to squeeze, besides his neck. So like all people who were unsatisfied she was in a testy mood. She shoved it in his hand. 'It' appeared to be a greenish grey booklet with the kanji "Welcome to NERV". Shinji opened it up quickly finding nothing different than what Id had told him would be there. It held info on what NERVs purpose was but not on what weapons they used. Recalling the words Id spoken to him about NERV Shinji looked over at Misato Katsuragi Shinji thought back to what Id had said. "NERV, which is German for nerve, may say it stands for the protection of Earth, but Shinji, the people running that organization have a long history of trying to destroy it, you can't trust anyone in that place Shinji, remember trust no one." But Shinji was having trouble not trusting the lavender haired captain, whose innocent nature seemed to make you want to put your life in her hands.  
  
"So my father works for NERV Misato-san?" The hormonally excelled female looked over at the person she was in charge of guarding, And did not instantly begin fantasizing on how well built he was.  
  
"You really don't know do you Shinji? Your father doesn't work for NERV, he's the supreme commander." Currently they were in a car elevator taking them down into the lower levels of the base. When the elevator reached the bottom Misato found a garage parking lot, and promptly parked it in between two spaces. "  
  
As they got out of the car, Shinji's inner morals began screaming at him that "Um, excuse me Misato-san; won't someone get angry if you park in more than one space?" Asked Shinji. Misato looked at Shinji then back at the two spaces she was taking up.  
  
"Don't worry Shinji, as chief of battle tactics the only people who out rank me are the commander and sub-commander. And if anyone decides to file a complaint against me, I can always demote them." She said, in all to calm a voice.  
  
The two of them stepped into a nearby elevator that oh so slowly began to lower them down into the central area of the base. "Isn't that an abuse of power?" Asked Shinji in an I-can't-believe-how-morally-challenged-you-are- tone of voice.  
  
Misato began giggling that in some ways reminded him about the time he'd decided to try public school. There was this girl there who kept trying to seduce him, she'd almost succeeded. "Silly Shinji, this is NERV, abusing your power is a part of the job." She then began eyeing him the same way the girl had. But he was just being paranoid, I mean after all, threes no way Misato could have any interest in him 'that' way, right?  
  
**********************************  
  
"Misato-san, I'm pretty sure we came this way before." Stated the young man. Misato was currently trying to read the map that Aoba had made for her. The problem was is that the map was just a badly drawn picture of Misatos head, a few dotted lines, and then a big X that had the words 'You want to go here.' Shinji looked to his left and right, this corridor was getting increasingly familiar. After another 12 minutes, he was absolutely sure they had been in the corridor once again.  
  
Looking to his left he saw an elevator that he had not noticed before. Above the elevator he saw a sign that said "To EVA cages." Looking back at the captain then back at the elevator, which had opened up revealing a rather beautiful woman. She had light blonde hair, beetle black eyes, was wearing a lab coat, underneath which was a turquoise one piece bathing suit, which hugged her skin rather closely. The woman had a deep frown as she glared at Misato, who had stopped to gather her wits (or what little she actually had). "You know, we don't have the time, or the man power to help you when ever you get lost, Chief of battle tactics operations, captain Katsuragi." Stated the woman with a superior tone attitude tone of voice.  
  
Misato looked over to see her best friend from college. "I'm sorry Ritsuko, but this map Aoba gave me doesn't work at all." She said showing her old friend the map. Looking over next to the elevator that Ritsuko had come out of and, quickly noticed something odd.  
  
"Misato-san um isn't that the elevator next to this one, the one we came from." Indeed it was, some how Misato had managed to pass the right elevator 6 times, when it had been in fact right next to the one they came from. A rather large sweat drop rolled down the side of her head.  
  
However before Misato could make even more of a fool of her self, Ritsuko ushered them into the elevator she was standing in and punched in the buttons for level 40.  
  
An eerie silence descended upon all of them. Shinji once again got that feeling of paranoia as he stood in between Misato and the highly intelligent and beautiful doctor Akagi. He kept trying to see if it really was the two of them who were the cause for his distress. Noticing no eye contact from either of them the boy just put it down as his usual inability to be around women for long periods of time.  
  
If Shinji could have read minds, then he would have fainted had he noticed the unified thought of both women.  
  
'Mmmm, its beef cake and pork buns for dinner.'  
  
*******************************************  
  
Stepping out of the elevator, Shinji noticed they were about to get on a open space elevator, yet he couldn't help but wonder why this one is going up, when they just went down, and Shinji thusly began to suspect the architects who built this place were either, 1. Aware of how much money NERV had so petty things like efficiency were not a problem, 2. Were just plain stupid. Shinji decided on both. As they stepped onto the transit elevator, which for some reason seemed to want to take its sweet time Shinji decided the best thing he could do was listen to Misato and Ritsuko talk. "He doesn't look much like him does he?" Whispered Misato. "The Third Child, no he doesn't." Shinji already knew what they were talking about. Yes it was true, he and his father did not look much alike, he had seen his father last at the anniversary of his mothers death, and he'd been shocked as to how much he had changed since he'd last seen the man. That was three years ago. The elevator stopped. Upon getting out Shinji noticed a rather large door marked "CAGES" in all caps. Ritsuko walked up to the door, swiping her access card, the door opened. As he stepped in Shinji made an astute observation.  
  
"Why is it so dark in here?"  
  
The lights turned on. There before Shinji was a large purple head, upon this head was a single horn, as though that of a unicorn. Its face seemed locked in an ever lasting grin, two white, pupil less eyes glared down at him, mocking him. Oddly enough Shinji did not seem fazed by the sudden appearance of the giant head. "Akagi-san, is this my fathers work?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
Shinji looked up, sure enough, there he was, his father stood behind a 2 ft thick glass window, in what appeared to be an observatory for the CAGES. Gendo Ikari was the same man Shinji remembered him as. He had a short scruffy beard, messy brown hair, he was wearing a black uniform that had red edges, and seemed have been made to make his father look all the more menacing. He wore those same orange glasses that always hid his eyes when they flashed; it just seemed to make his father more evil.  
  
"Were moving out." Ordered the commander of NERV in an I-won't-be-argued with tone of voice. Misato looked confusedly at the commander, then a thought accrued to her that couldn't be true. In a vain hope that this boy wouldn't have to go out into battle with the Angel.  
  
"But sir, we don't have a pilot!" She hoped the commander would see reason.  
  
"We just received one." Stated Ritsuko as if sending a child to fight enormous monsters was common place around here. Shinji however had tuned them out, his entire attention focused solely on his father, the technicians around the area, Ritsuko, and Misato would quickly learn the relation between Gendo and Shinji went deeper than just looks. The cold indifferent glares they gave each other would have cowed even the bravest of men.  
  
"Before I go out there and pilot this machine of yours, I would like to know two things?" The doctor hoped the boy wasn't going to ask for a pay like Asuka did when she first became a Child, the NERV budget had never been as low as when that girl had gone on that shopping spree. "First, what's its name?"  
  
"Super humanoid, bio combat mech, Evangelion Unit 01, Eva 01 for short." Answered the doctor, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"Second, if I remember my numbers right doctor, before Third, there's a Second, and a First, so If I'm the Third Child, where are the Second and First?" This was not something Ritsuko had expected; she was however prepared to answer it.  
  
"The Second Child is currently in Germany and won't be here for another month and a half." Answered Gendo.  
  
"And the First?" Asked Shinji, raising an eye brow.  
  
Pressing an intercom button, Gendo got Fuyustuki on the line. "Kozou, send Rei down, the Third needs a nudge in the right direction."  
  
Fuyustuki looked worried for a second, but Gendo, she can barley stand, much less pilot!" Then Gendo gave Kozou that kind of glare.  
  
"She's not dead yet."  
  
A door nearby to the right opened up to reveal 2 doctors, and 3 nurses, pushing gurney out on to the walk way where Shinji stood. The girl on the gurney was badly injured, she was wrapped in so many bandages one could have mistaken her for a mummy. But what caught Shinji's attention was that it was the same girl from the streets of Tokyo 2.  
  
*****************************  
  
Sachiel had finally been able to shut his other side up, and was fully healed from that N2 explosion, however currently his child side was in control, so Sachiel was currently looking for his 'Dolly'. Sensing Shinji's energy pattern Sachiel shot a cross beam at the general area of the Geofront.  
  
*****************************  
  
Down in the Eva cages the effects of that blast had already taken place, as the nuts an bolts that held the cage ceiling together over the past few years that had loosened due to lack of maintenance fell out, releasing the beams which were falling in the general area of both Shinji and Rei, sizing up how much time he had to act in mere nanoseconds, Shinji ran at the bare minimum speed he needed to save the albino girl; so as not to attract attention. Doing a running dives came naturally to Shinji, as for some reason he seemed to end up in women's bathrooms without ever meaning to be there in the first place, he would often have to dive through doors to avoid the numerous blunt objects they threw at him. So picking up a girl while in dive was no problem. When he'd landed, the beams had killed the 2 doctors and 1 of the three nurses was sans a pinky toe.  
  
Looking down at the girl he held in his arms, he couldn't help but wince as she grimaced in pain. The gurney some how managed to escape being crushed by the beams. Placing her down the gurney, Shinji knew that if he didn't pilot, his father would send the girl in, whom else was there besides him. Looking up at his father Shinji looked him strait in the eyes. "Fine father, I'll pilot the Eva, just don't send this girl out there."  
  
*****************************  
  
After that preparations had immediately begun to get the Eva started. Techs were talking in all sorts of jabber that Shinji couldn't make heads or tales of what they were saying. Finally, he was sitting in the entry plug, with A-10 neural connectors on his head, they were designed to make him sync with the Eva. The controls were simple enough, think it and the Eva shall act as such, he wanted it to walk, it would walk. Finally something happened that he had not expected. The entry plug had begun to fill with this odd yellow liquid. "Um, Akagi-san, why is the entry plug filling with piss?" Asked the slightly startled boy.  
  
Ritsuko chuckled at the term the boy gave the Link Connect Liquid. "It's called LCL, Shinji. Don't worry, it's an oxygenated liquid, you can breath it. Although she had to admit, the LCL in the plug did look like piss. Shinji was not convinced, this stuff might not be piss, but could taste just as bad. And there was no way he was going to drink something like that. He tried holding his breath as long as he could, which was about 10 minutes. But do to the fact that they were on a tight schedule; they increased the LCL pressure so he lost his breath, and had to swallow the LCL. "Ung, tastes horrible, almost like Tang."  
  
"Quit your moaning, you're a boy after all!" Yelled Misato. 'After all, that's my job!' She thought with a blush.  
  
"Past border line, synchronization at...my god.....Sempai!"  
  
Ritsuko looked over at Maya Ibuki her assistant. "Yes Maya, what is it?"  
  
Maya looked over at her superior, and love interest with shock, amazement and...fear evident on her face? "Shinji's sync rate, it's at........80%!  
  
Ritsuko looked at the view screen, where a water proof camera on the inside of the entry plug showed Shinji looking confident and ready to head into battle. "Could he have been born to pilot Eva?" She said to her self.  
  
Soon the Eva was loaded up with its umbilical cord, and set up on the launchers. The speed elevator was prepped up, and ready to go. Misato looked over at Gendo, who was sitting in the 'standard position' for maximum evil. "Sir, can we really do this?" Asked Misato. Gendo didn't even move as he answered her. "If we do not, they'll destroy the Earth, and everything on it." (And if you fail, you won't have the chance to do it your self)  
  
"LAUNCH EVA!"  
  
************************************  
  
As the Eva was launched through the elevator shaft, and into Tokyo 3, Shinji couldn't help but wonder what Id would say about him 'saving the world' as the NERV manual had put it. "He'd probably say it was pointless, since he's gonna destroy it afterward." He thought out loud.  
  
As the Eva hit surface, Shinji's head snapped back, and hearing the sound of metal banging, he suspected the Eva had done the same. Shinji's view in the entry plug was very well ranged, he could see 270 degrees around the Eva's head, that meant there was almost no way the enemy could sneak up on him. But there was something else about the Eva, when they said synchronization he didn't think they meant it quite like this, he felt like he was the Eva, that his own physical abilities were in fact added to the Eva's own, he felt like he was God. Sachiel had found a way to get his adult side back in gear and was now totally focused on the missions. Good thing too, the last thing Shinji needed was a giant monster trying to play with him as if were a doll while in a giant mech of equal size, people might get the wrong idea. Sachiel had also managed to put his younger head to sleep with the one thing all young children hate, history lessons. So, bored out of his mind, the younger of the two heads fell asleep. Sachiel stared at his soon too be enemy, it was locked in place by some narrow girders, and wouldn't be able to move until then, an easy kill really. Now Sachiel may have been slightly dense, also a schizophrenic, but he was NOT dishonorable, he had come to earth to rid it of people like that, not to imitate them! So he stood his ground waiting for his enemy to make his move.  
  
As the locks on the Eva disengaged, Shinji heard Misatos voice come in through a 'sound only' transmission. "Okay Shinji, we're gonna concentrate on small things, first make the Eva walk, just visualize it moving."  
  
Shinji took a deep breath of LCL, and slowly he visualized the Eva walking forward with its left foot first. Slowly the Eva began to take a slow step off of the elevator. "Good work Shinji now just....." Misato never got a chance to finish her sentence, as suddenly Unit 01 made a mad dash toward Sachiel, whom had not expected his enemy to move so fast stood there like a sitting duck. Hitting first with a right hook, then a left hook, followed by a right handed upper cut, and finished with a spinning back hand.  
  
The bridge crew sat in aw, except for Gendo, he was only mildly surprised. The new pilot had just opened up a proverbial can of whoop ass on the Angel, not only that it was his first time with no prior training! Shinji's face then came up on screen. "Does this thing have any weapons?"  
  
Misato, realizing that right now wasn't the time to berate the boy, the battle had already started any way, and he actually did a fine job in attacking.  
  
"Yes, in the shoulder attachments there are some progressive knives, there are 3 in each attachment." She explained.  
  
'That means a total of 6 knives.' Shinji thought to himself. He then began to look for any point at which he should attack with the knives.  
  
"Akagi-san, do we know any thing about theses creatures?" Asked Shinji.  
  
Ritsuko looked to the boy and nodded her head. "Yes, their genetic make up, although they do not look like us, they, the similarity is estimated to be at least 70%."  
  
'Alright Shinji, you've got the beginnings of a plan, now, the pistons appear to be his main weapon, take those out, and he's defenseless.'  
  
Willing his right shoulder attachment to open up, Shinji pulled out a loan knife, got into a throwing stance, and reared his arm back to hurl it. Sachiel who was still down pretended to be dead. It would cost him dearly. Shinji threw the knife, it sailed through the air, going at an obscene speed for a knife. It hit Sachiel where the sun don't shine. If it's possible for Angels to cry, then Sachiel was bawling like a baby. It never crossed his mind that after this job, he would go back to heaven, his wounds restored and be able still seduce women. But then again, having a knife land 'There' must hurt like hell.  
  
Every male in the command room cringed, Gendo too. "Ikari, it seems your son is nearly as cruel as you." Stated Kozou. Misato couldn't help but realize that maybe beneath the kind exterior that the boy had, he was just as cruel as his father could ever be. 'We'll just have to prove how cruel 'we' can be, won't we precious.' Thought she of her cat o nine tails.  
  
After his crying fit, Sachiel stood up, murder in his eyes, he quickly charged at Shinji in a blind rage, just as Shinji wanted him to. Already reaching back to the attachments Shinji pulled out another knife. But before he could throw it Sachiel fired at him with his eyes beams, which ended in a cross shaped flare. After he'd been hit the progressive knife in his hand had been vaporized, with Shinji sustaining only superficial damage. Already Shinji was pulling out another knife from his left attachment, at the same time Sachiels second head was beginning to wake up. Looking up at his 'big brother' the baby head decided it was time for another game. "Hey brother." Sachiel looked over. "Oh no not you!" If Angels can giggle then you never want to see it happen, it's scary. "Of course it's me, silly! I spy with my enormous eye something...." The tiny head never finished that sentence as a progressive knife, flew through the air and stabbed it in the face. Sachiel waited for a moment to see it was still alive. It didn't stir. 'THANK YOU GOD!' While Sachiel was praising his "Father" Shinji had readied another pair of knives in hand. Taking careful aim Shinji threw them. Unlike the last 3, these ones actually hit their target. Sachiel suddenly noticed that his arms now had a knife in each one embedded in his wrists. While not overly painful, with those knives there he had no circulation to his hands, so they were useless, and with the knives jammed in his arms like this, he couldn't use his pistons! And except for his eye beams, which couldn't be used for close combat, he was defenseless. Looking over he could already see Shinji, with another, and his last, knife ready. Hoping he could shoot the knife with his beams Sachiel shot like a mad man with quick, short bursts, but they were grossly inaccurate. The shots missed Shinji by a mile, (not literally, but you get the idea) rearing his hand back Shinji threw. It sailed through the air, it flew strait towards its target, Sachiels core.  
  
CRACK  
  
Sachiel looked down, the knife was stuck right in the middle, and had created a sort of canyon of cracks. Sachiel looked up at the purple robot. If Angels do smile, then Sachiel was now. He had no hope left, his last chance was a suicide run. Going as fast as he could, Sachiel closed in around the Eva's head like a ball. His core turned a shining white, as is sat closest to Shinji, then all was white for him.  
  
**********************************  
  
When he woke up, he was in a bed, the covers were slightly soft, his head was wrapped in a bandage, and he was wearing a standard hospital gown. Looking up at the white ceiling Shinji couldn't help but think. 'Something tells me I'm going to be seeing allot of this room.'  
  
End  
  
Authors Note- Holy crap, you have no idea how long this took me too write this. Man I hate school. Any who this chapter was more serious on the account of the battle scene, but some how I think it came out more comedy than serious. I'm finding something odd. Maybe I'm just messed up, but I'm finding I want to write more than read, is that bad. Any how sorry for the long wait, and if this chapter sucked, then I'm sorry, I'll try to make the next one better. Thank you all who reviewed my story, it means allot to me. Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. 


	4. Nurses, check ups, and seduction Oh my!

My Guardian of Bloody eyes chapter 3, Nurses, check ups, and seduction. Oh my!  
  
Author's notes: this next chapter is going to feature Shinji's moving in with Misato, his going into school, and his battle with the 4th angel, still haven't chosen who Shinji's going end up with.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Xenogears or Eva, but damn it I wish I did.  
  
Shinji continued to stare at the hospital room ceiling, he didn't feel like moving, it wasn't that he was tired, it was just that when ever he wanted to leave the hospitals, the nurses always wanted to do "One more check up, to be sure your healthy." As they put it. It wasn't that he didn't believe in a healthy body, it was just that when ever they did these check ups they were always very thorough, checking EVERTHING. It wasn't that he didn't like the idea of being around beautiful women, it was just that, the last time they'd checked him up, the inner urges of his Contact genes ordered him to spread his genetic code, so that there could be more Contacts like him and Id, the problem was Shinji was the committing type, he didn't believe in one-night stands. And the last time some nurses had given him one, he'd almost given in.  
  
Sighing he sat up threw the covers off, and climbed out of bed. The room was a fairly basic one. It had one bed, a heart monitor, a medicine table, and a bathroom with a shower, and sink. What he found odd was that the left wall had been knocked out, replaced with a pane of glass giving him a complete view of the Geofront. It was gorgeous, the way the artificial sunlight sent rays of shine upon the trees, the sound of insects such as beetles, cicadas chirping, animals ranging from tiny ground hogs to prideful Elks. It was truly a serene sight, worthy of being painted by a master artist. "If Id saw this he'd destroy it and say he was doing the world a favor."  
  
*********************  
  
Misato awoke that morning feeling refreshed. She had just drunken herself to...to...drunkenness. To which she had passed out on the couch. Upon waking however she heard the sound of her cell phone ringing, which in fact had an attachment to her stereo, so the ringing sound would travel through out the entire apartment, it also worked as a make shift alarm clock. Picking up her phone she heard the voice of a certain fake blonde doctor. "Good morning Misato, sleep well?" Misato grumbled a bit as she got out of bed, and began making breakfast. "Rits, isn't it a little early for you to be calling?" On her side of the line, Ritsuko frowned. "Misato, its 11:30." Misato looked at the phone as if it had grown a second head. "Yeah Rits EARLY, my shift doesn't start for an hour." Misato said. Doctor Akagi sighed in exasperation. "Any how the reason I'm calling is because Shinji's awake." The sound of a scrambling body could be heard through the phone, followed by an engine starting, then multiple police car sirens. Ritsuko sighed, it had been a busy day for her, the Eva need some more metal plating, the paint that was burned off in the last attack, get the materials for replacement progressive knives, so many things to do, Gendo among them. She began wondering about the commanders son, the boy was, quite simply put, a gift from God. His sync ratio was amazing, that and it was only his first time piloting, he'd defeated an Angel with no prior training, and most of the women at NERV (76% of NERVs employees are women, I counted) wanted to ask him out, she herself among them. The reasons were as follows, 1). He had the body of a Greek god. Those muscles had been so large, yet so firm and yet at the same time not disgustingly huge. 2). He was the commander's son. Any girl that could end up with him in her bed stood a good chance of being promoted. 3). He seemed to be the caring type. His selfless act of saving Rei had been like how it was in all the fairytales, the righteous knight come to save fair maiden in distress. 4). That butt had to be the best one she'd seen in a LONG time. Speaking of other 'long' things Ritsuko began to go into another fantasy about a certain appendage, on the male body, and just how 'long' Shinji's was. (I'm a sick demented person aren't I?)  
  
**************************  
  
Near Oklahoma State University, a fair was commencing. The design was pretty simple; games lined the park where the fair owners had chosen as their 'home base'. In this fair there were an assortment of games, the ring toss, sharp shooting, a pre-Second Impact style roller coaster, and a break the bottles game. Yes truly an old fashioned fair, just as the people of Oklahoma State wanted it to be; to help remind people of the days before Second Impact, before the wars, before the Angels.  
  
What most would find ironic was that there was a mystery fun house attraction at the fair. This fun house had all the works, hall of mirrors, a fake asylum, which most people steered clear of, and one of the fairs best sellers, a recent addition, it was an attraction called: The Amazing Beast from Below the Depths. It attracted quite allot of people, they all wanted to see what the guy in the kooky looking costume looked like.  
  
Well they were a little surprised to see a two story squid like creature with two tentacles that glowed a green light. Needless to say, people continued wondering why no one was leaving from the back area of the fun house; this of course got people a little curious of what was going on back there. So they would go in, they would not come out, as they're bodies added to the height and strength of Shamsiel Angel of Whips.  
  
*********************  
  
Shinji was in what most men would call heaven, he was being fussed over, checked through thoroughly, and being examined by two very beautiful nurses, both had VERY ample bosoms, pert rumps, long slender legs, and well, they were prodding him in some very 'personal' places. One was a brunette with green eyes and cream colored skin. The other was a blonde with blue eyes and well tanned skin. However at the same time Shinji was resisting the urge too give into his Contact instincts. The last time he'd almost raped one of the nurses, although he wasn't sure about that, it was something he never wanted to do to anybody. When he told Id about it he was ecstatic, he was a little disappointed he hadn't gone all the way, but was happy that he had 'almost' done it. So much so he put Shinji through any training that day. While that might not sound like much to some of you, but to him it was a godsend, the training Id had put him through had made him stronger than any person he knew, they usually hurt like hell if he didn't perform the training right. He shuddered remembering that time Id had almost put him through the dreaded Neko-ken, or Cat fist training, when he spotted the part in the manual that stated it drove the trainee insane. He could have sworn he'd heard Id mutter "Damn, hoped he wouldn't spot that." So from that day on he tried avoiding nurses. Today he had failed. They'd caught him leaving the room and had instantly taken him back for 'examination'.  
  
"Alright Mr. Ikari, one more test and we're all done." The blonde nurse said. He sighed in relief. His urges had almost over come his morals. "We just need to do one last test." The brunette nurse said. "You see, Doctor Akagi is a little curious as to how you have such a sync ratio, with such little experience with them. So we need one more sample." 'One more?' They had taken every sample he could think of, blood, skin, hair, and urine, what else could there be...unless. Shinji looked over at the blonde who was beginning to take her shirt off showing off her purple braw, the brunette was pulling her skirt down revealing some rather eye popping black panties, you could sum up Shinji's thoughts all in one word. 'DAMN!' (Weather for the fact that he was about to break one of his morals, or in appreciation for the nurses bodies, I'll leave that up to you.)  
  
*********************************  
  
Misato ran down the hospital corridor like a bat out of hell. When Ritsuko had told her that Shinji was awake and well, she had kicked in the nitrous boosters, however she had forgotten that the no speed limit law was only in .effect during Angel attacks. So she had to do a daring car chase, doing moves so insane one would almost call them impossible. She then ran into the NERV hospital, her running action causing certain aspects of her anatomy to *ahem* catch the attention of every male in the vicinity. She ran past the receptionist and strait to Shinji's room. She opened the door with a smile on her face at the thought of seeing Shinji getting 'examined'. As the tactical commander she had access to see any scientific procedures, and of course give a few orders here and there.  
  
Opening the door she saw a sight she didn't expect to see. Shinji was on the bed, one of the nurses was on top of him, she herself topless. The other nurses had her skirt down and was *ahem* sustaining her self until the other nurse finished up, which didn't seem to be a while as that lip lock she had him in was definitely doing it's job. The nurse looked up from her handy work, and by look of bliss on Shinji's face, was doing it quite well.  
  
Misato stepped back into the corridor and closed the door. The brunette looked at the blonde; they shrugged and decided to switch spots for the time being. However, just as the brunette was getting in position, the door opened up revealing Misato with an AK-47 in hand. Her face was one of fury, hatred, and slight insanity. "You have three seconds to get off of him and get the hell out." What she would do to them in those three seconds didn't take a genius to figure out. Quickly getting off the boy, although somewhat reluctantly, the two nurses ran out of the room before their three seconds were up. Turning back to Shinji, who was still in Lala land, Misato shook her head, and sighed. Calling up Ritsuko on her cell phone Misato told the false blonde of the two nurses previously in the room. Ritsuko told Misato to wait there as she went to the upper levels of NERV known as the Recovery Ward. Opening the door she found Misato's AK pointed at her. She put it down sighing in relief. "Thought you were one of those nymphos for a second. They've been trying to get back in and finish their business since I called you."  
  
Ritsuko gave a mental sigh of relief. For one she'd thought Misato might have decided to have her way with young Shinji. And two, she was hoping she could do it her self. She took note of Shinji's condition, he seemed slightly happy with a little smile on his face and a far away look in his eyes. "He's happy." Ritsuko said as she sat down in a chair near the bed, Misato pulled her stool up to the bed and raised the height a little with a lever found on the under side. Gently shoving him they woke Shinji from his blissful, um, bliss. "Shinji wake up." His eyes came back to focus. Looking over he saw Misato and her chest leaning dangerously close to his face. "Good you're awake." Ritsuko said. "Um, what's going on, what happened?" Misato looked to Ritsuko who looked some what serious. "Shinji, what were those nurses doing to you?" Shinji closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again. "Those nurses you sent in, you know to check me up, and get those samples. Well they got everything else, then when they found out you wanted to get a *ahem* more personal one they basically tried to do it the old fashioned way (It's true, back in the 1800s to early 1900s that was how they got *that*.) Ritsuko blinked, quite a lot in fact, she then pulled out sheet of paper from one of her many pockets, and she then began to look over it. Misato looked confusedly at Shinji then at Ritsuko. "What kind of sample are you guys talking about?" Ritsuko looked at her friend sighed at her naiveté. "It's one you used to get a lot in college." She then began looking over the paper. Misato looked confused for another second, then it dawned on her what she meant, she then turned a beet red.  
  
"Ah ha, I knew it!" Shinji and Misato turned to Ritsuko; she had a look of someone plotting revenge. "Shinji-kun, can you describe the two nurses that tried to seduce you?" Shinji thought for a moment then the details came out. "One was a blonde with blue eyes. The other was a brunette with green eyes." Ritsuko had a look that said, I should have known. "Mina and Lita." (I bet you can guess which show they're from, I'll give you a hint, and it begins with an S.) "Who?" Misato asked. "They're a couple of trouble makers who are constantly seducing the patients close to recovery." Misato looked shocked. "How immoral can you get?! Seducing a young boy when he's still recovering!" 'Why didn't I think of that?' Ritsuko looked over Shinji for a second. "Well Shinji-kun we've already signed you out." Now the only problem is, where are you going to live?" Instantly both women thought the same thing. Suddenly the hospital intercom, one per room, turned on. "Third Child, please report to the Commanders office, I repeat please report to the Commanders office." And there they went. The Commanders office was not what one would call the most ..welcoming of places. As they entered Shinji couldn't help but notice the red glow coming from the room. Or for that matter the weird design on the ceiling. Gendo was in the standard position, his gloves creating an arch under his nose, hiding the smirk lying there in. Kozou stood behind the Commander with his hand held behind his back. Misato stood behind Shinji to his left, while Ritsuko was on the right. "The Third Child is to be transferred to the 105 apartment complex area. 'That's where Rei lives, aren't you afraid your little doll might fall for him Gendo?' Thought Ritsuko to herself. "Sir, permission to speak sir?" Gendo looked to Misato. Gendo nodded ever so slightly, just slightly not much. "I would like to request that the Third Child be placed under my care." Gendo raised an eyebrow at this. "Why captain?" Misato had anticipated this. "Sir, the 105 apartment complex is practically falling apart. Also, I just got a new apartment sir, a less gloomy atmosphere might increase his piloting abilities. My apartment is also relatively close to NERV as well." The Commander of NERV considered for a moment the pros and cons. It wasn't a hard decision. "Granted, the Third Child will board with you. I'll have them send his belongings to the apartment. Dismissed." Kozou looked over at Gendo as they left. He could see it, the machine like mind that was Gendos was already looking to see how this would affect the scenario. When they all had left Kozou turned to Gendo with a stern look in his eye. "You do realize, that your son is a Contact, right Ikari." Gendo turned to Kozou with an indifferent look in his eyes. "From the moment he was born I knew." Kozou looked over at where Shinji had stood. "That pheromone his kind produce could prove troublesome. He could turn NERV it self against us." Closing his eyes Kozou had a philosophical aura about him. "How do you think Yui would feel about her son being a Contact?" Gendo broke his position, and turned his chair to stare at his oldest friend. "She'd do everything in her power short of killing him to make sure he didn't become like Id." Gendo turned his chair back around to face the door his son had left from. "But it seems, something like that is inevitable."  
  
************************************************  
  
Sitting once more in the blue Renault, Shinji couldn't help but wonder if going to live with the captain was going to be a good thing, or a bad thing. Sitting with a bag of groceries in his lap, Shinji just stared at how much of it was instant ramen and beer. After hitting the grocery store, which was going to be able to make quite a few sales the next few weeks, Misato pulled them up near a hill over looking Tokyo 3. "Come on out Shinji." Misato said. The brown haired pilot got out of the car, placing the groceries down on the floor. Stepping out of the car Misato guided him near the edge of the hill. The sun was setting giving Tokyo 3 a resemblance to the city of gold. "Wow." Shinji was speechless. "It's beautiful Misato-san." Shinji said. Misato looked at her watch and counted to 3. Suddenly, whole buildings began to rise out of the ground. Slowly one by one mammoth skyscrapers rose from the depths of the Geofront, standing tall and proud once again. "This is the city you saved Shinji, you should be very proud of yourself." Misato said to Shinji. She looked over at the boy, whom was doing something she hadn't seen him do since her meeting him. He was smiling. Not like the grin from back at the hospital, but a true genuine smile. She looked to him with proud eyes, and motioned him to get back in the car.  
  
**************************************  
  
Over in Okalahoma, the fair was packing up. It had begun at 7:00am and ended at 7:00pm. Over in mystery fun house, Shamsiel sighed in contentment, he'd just had a feast fit for a king, he was of the appropriate size to go into battle now, and avenge Sachiel. The workers began loading the mystery fun house into its personal truck. For some reason the thing had to be carried whole at all times. So they needed a REALLY big truck. Sighing in contentment, the Angel of Whips slowly drifted to sleep. He then felt a gaseous built up in his stomach. Not being one to hold things in Shamsiel just let it fly.  
  
*Fart*  
  
The workers loading the fun house stared as they heard possibly the loudest flatulence in their lives. Not being ones to ask questions they simply continued with their work.  
  
End  
  
Egads, you have no idea how long it took me to write this short chapter. The problem is that my brother was having this LAN party and his friends kept sleeping in my room. Is it my fault my beds so comfortable. Our heater broke for a little while so my GWAM went down to 22, instead of my usual 70. Also, in some of the later chapters I'm thinking of doing a progression of Lemons, should I or should I not? Last but not least, I'm going to work Mana into this story, but I need the details on how she came about, can any one tell me. Please excuse the spelling or grammar errors, Sorry if this chapter sucked.  
  
Konous the grey 


	5. Keep swimming

Author's notes: Been getting a lot of positive feed back from people. Here's how it's going to work. Shinji's going to go on a few dates in this series. After each date, depending on how many votes I get, it could be a lemon or a lime. Any thing that happens on these dates will not ultimately determine who ends up with Shinji, O.k., good.  
  
Disclaimer: don't own Eva or Xenogears, oh how I wish I did.  
  
Shinji stood outside the door of Misato Katsuragi's apartment, the door one of titanium, as after Second Impact resources like it were easy to come by, since because of the flooding, massive amounts of earth, were kicked up, revealing entire under ground mountains of precious metals. So now most doors were made of this incredibly durable metal. Looking over at the lavender haired women, who mind you had the body of Aphrodite herself, Shinji still couldn't figure out the woman's reasons for allowing him to stay here. Sliding her NERV I.D. through the panel next to the door, the door then slid open revealing a hard wood floor hall way. Misato looked to Shinji who was still standing outside the door, a sheepish look on his face. "I don't want to intrude." Said Shinji in his oh so shy way (No matter what he's still Shinji, even living with a psychopath bent on killing everything he sees will not change Shinji's inner nature). "None sense, this is your home too now, treat it that way." Shinji took a few steps forward into the apartment, and into the hallway. "I'm home." Misato smiled at him as a mother would. "Welcome home."  
  
Taking his shoes off and leaving them at the door Shinji stepped into his new home, his new life, and possibly even more problems than any person could handle. "I haven't had a chance to tidy everything up yet so it's a little messy." Stepping into the kitchen Shinji couldn't help but think one thing. 'A LITTLE messy?' Already the neat freak tendencies that shall, and forever will be a part of Shinji Ikari, kicked into over drive, the mountains of beer cans, piles of stinky old take out rotting by the fridge, and the trash can was over filled with something purple, that he could have sworn reached out with a tentacle to grab the old take out. Shinji's mind then began sorting the trash into different groups by material, size, product type, weight, etc. Quickly acting Shinji began cleaning the house at a speed only rivaled by that of The Flash. Misato, who did not notice due to her back being turned, was making some nice instant ramen, at least that's what it was supposed to be, for the noodles kept trying to slither out of the pan, she was mind you boiling the noodles in beer mixed with curry and wasabi. Turning around Misato looked to find Shinji sitting at the kitchen table, panting at his extreme workout of cleaning up the apartment. "Boy Shinji, you must be starving, well dinners gonna be ready in a moment so don't worry." Shinji looked over at his commanding officer and guardian with an "Are you serious?" look in his eyes.  
  
The room was now spotless, it had been so dirty that rats had begun living in the piles of trash, however when Shinji cleaned it up, the rats began praying to their rodent deities to bring back their palace of filth, and were now sacrificing their young to appease their gods. Setting the bowl of "until recently" ramen noodles down on the table Shinji couldn't help but wonder if he'd made the right choice in agreeing to come stay with this women. Eating the ramen, trying to be a good guest, the boy quickly learned he would have to do all the cooking around here. Misato however was having no trouble shoveling the food into her mouth. 'I suppose she's built an immunity to her own cooking; that would make sense. Remembering that staring at people was rude, but in Ids case so long as they had a nice body it was quite alright, Shinji then resumed poisoning err feeding his stomach. After finishing the food, Shinji quietly walked over to the sink, cleaned out his bowl, dried it with a rag, he then placed it away. "Um, Misato-san, where's the bathroom?" Misato looked up from her second helping of ramen, and 4th can of beer. "It's past the living room down the hall and near your room." She said not pausing in her wolfing of the food, if you could call it that. Quickly walking into stated bathroom Shinji vomited into the toilet. Washing his mouth out thoroughly as he could, when one is without a tooth brush, the young Ikari then turned his eyes on taking a bath. God knows he needed it. Opening the screen to the bath/shower Shinji's mind failed to compute that baths don't just fill by themselves.  
  
*********  
  
Taking a sweet sip of satisfaction from her beer, Misato heard a scream come from the bathroom. Knowing that her new flat mate was the only other person besides her capable of screaming, Misato promptly ignored, due to her assumption that her charge's scream came from him finding out of her other flat mate. "Misato-san, there's this thing in the bath and..." Directing her voice to the bath Misato called out to the boy. "Don't worry Shinji, that's just my pet warm water penguin Pen-pen, he doesn't bite." Continuing to sip her beer Misato sighed in somewhat nirvana like bliss. She then heard rapid footsteps of previously stated boy, running as though restricted, but still quite fast. As said boy came into view she realized why he was running. Clad only in a towel Shinji was doing his best efforts to get out of the reach of Pen-pen, who was swinging a rather large butchers cleaver, what he intended do with it was quite obvious, as he continued to swing at Shinji's lower section, it became obvious the penguin wanted to make an Eunuch out of him. Rage and blood lust was in the eyes of the disgruntled penguin as he swished and swashed his cleaver, hoping to remove the boy of the thing that made him male. Misato called out to the penguin, fear of losing her charge, and possible sex slave. "Pen-pen, no, DON'T!" The maddened penguin halted in his efforts to remove Shinji of his masculinity. Looking over at the beer chugging women that Pen-pen had registered as Life Drink, and Bad dinner maker, the rather small creature waddled over to Misato, his eyes slightly downcast.  
  
"Pen-pen, I know how much you value your privacy, but you can't go around chopping every persons 'assets' when they interrupt your bath time." The penguin acted as most children would when getting their hands caught in the cookie jar. "Shinji, come one out." Shinji stuck his head out of the hallway, the looks he gave the penguin clearly showed on his face. Puzzlement, as one of his eye brows had been lifted up a slight bit. And fear, who wouldn't be little scared of a bird that could handle a knife like a sword and intended to remove your ability to create babies. "Now Pen-pen, say you're sorry." The yellow billed warm water ice fowl looked at Shinji quickly muttering a "Wark." Obviously sarcastic in nature, but it would do. "Shinji, can you cook fish?" The brown haired pilot nodded. "Make him some sardines, we've got some in the freezer, he loves it, to show him you're sorry for interrupting his bath." Shinji nodded, quickly moving the kitchen and as far from Pen-pen and his knife as he could. Quickly finding a can of the tiny fishes, Shinji cooked up an apology for the penguin fit for a king or eagle. Looking at the food with some hesitation, the Life Drink, and Bad dinner make had created food that looked just as tantalizing as this before and had tasted like fresh feces. Taking a small nibble at the offered apology Pen-pen slowly swallowed one of the fish whole. The affects were immediate, Pen-pens eyes watered, his taste buds flared, and his stomach felt relieved. Instantly Pen-pen began groveling before the young boy, acting like an acolyte would worship his deity. "Well Shinji, I guess I should leave the cooking to you then, eh? Oh wait that reminds me, we have to pick chores!" Quickly pulling out an out a large tri-fold board, Misato wrote her name and Shinji's below that with a black marker. Turning around to face the young boy Misato had a smile on her face quite similar to that of Chesire the cat from Alice in Wonderland. "We're going to play Rock Paper Scissors to pick out chores."  
  
After the chores were listed one thing became apparent, Shinji sucked at Rock Paper Scissors. He had only won twice, and even then it gave Misato the easiest chores in the house, with Shinji doing the rest. But what could you expect really; with only ever playing the game with Id, who was even worse at it than Shinji, he'd never had much practice playing. Thinking of his care taker and martial arts instructor, and closest thing he had to a father, sent Shinji down memory lane. Thinking back to all the old style martial arts moves Id had taught him, all the training exercises, and chi manipulation techniques. These thoughts brought a smile to the young boys face, as eventually sleep claimed him.  
  
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Dreams are an odd thing. Like most sentient creatures these things can very in their alignment, whether it be good, bad, or just plain odd. Dreams have always baffled people, as to what they actually are, some think that dreams for tell the future, others believe the dream world is the actual reality while this one being false, others think dreams are caused by sniffing to much crack. What ever your belief one thing is most certain about the dream world. Any thing is possible. So it was not out of dream power, as one might call it, to bring one back to their younger days of life. In this case Shinji was dreaming of one of his most feared memories.  
  
If you would observe where the young boy was standing, you would note first, it was a beach, you would next note the rather large volcano in the distance, followed of course by the massive amount of cruise liners coming in the harbor not to far from here, and finally the large amount of surfers trying to catch the rather large waves spewing from the ocean. Yes, Shinji Ikari was in Hawaii. One of the great miracles of the world was that during Second Impact, Hawaii and the surrounding areas did not flood. For years scientists have tried to understand why this small chain of islands did not sink with the rising waters. It was eventually discovered that the volcano that Hawaii was so famous for was letting off constant miniature eruptions, not actually releasing lava, ash or carbon dioxide gas, not much any way, so all these eruptions served to do was keep the islands afloat with the rising waters. Allowing one the greatest tourist places on Earth to still exist.  
  
And for the first time in a long time the ten year old boy could enjoy his life, playing in the sand, building sand castles, catching the eyes of many pre-pubescent females even though he was totally oblivious to it. Hearing the voice of his adoptive father, not legally of course but did that really matter. "Shinji, you having fun little man?" The tiny tot turned to smile the man like tomorrow wouldn't come. Id had changed out of his usual combat suit, favoring one of the tourist shirts, to help him blend in a little more. When he and Shinji had stepped off the cruise liner, one of the Hawaiians had noted is pale complexion and had promptly informed Id that he desperately needed this vacation if he was that pale. It had taken all the will power and his promise to Shinji earlier to not kill anyone that had kept him from blasting the man into oblivion.  
  
"Uh-huh." Shinji then went back to playing in the sand. Id looked down at his charge with a feeling of pride, Shinji had come far I his training, and he could now punch through steel doors if he wanted to, leap 12 feet into the air, and as he was noticing, drawing the attention of a few girls. 'Well, we should get some more training done while we're here.' Obviously Id still did not realize why they're called vacations. "Well Shinji, I think that right now we should get a quick swimming work out done, whadda ya say?" The boy was in a great mood right now, so even the idea of a little work out could not dampen his mood. "Well come on then, we've got to work on your swimming skills." Id said. One thing that Id had found interesting was that Shinji seemed to have trouble swimming at high speeds. That was in part why he'd come to Hawaii, the conditions here were perfect, clear water, lots of coral, and plenty of sea life to help Id in his little work out with Shinji. Shinji stood up, took off his shirt and ran into the awaiting sea water. Id followed suite taking his own shirt off, having kept his swimming trunks on knowing that Shinji probably would want to continue training with him. He ran into the water, fallowing Shinji, and began swimming away from shore. When the two were pretty far from the white sandy beaches Id stopped swimming, signaling Shinji to do likewise. "Alright Shinji, what I've cooked up here is a little training scheme I like to call, Cat and Mouse. You see Shinji; I chose this place as our vacation for a select few reasons. One, we can actually relax here, every time we go to a place to have fun, some priest always sees us and begins calling me a demon. Two, there are many scores of hot women here; I have noticed lately that ugly women seem to crowd our area of living." Shinji shook his head at his adoptive parent's playboy nature. "Three, well, take a look under the water Shinji." The ten year old took a quick dive under the water, he then noticed a large amount of fair sized fish coming their way. Quickly shooting up Shinji tried to warn Id of the impending doom approaching them. He was hushed however as Id raised his hand signifying the need of silence. "Those creatures Shinji, as I'm sure you've guessed, are sharks, now don't worry, I'm creating a shield, and they can't come near us, unless I drop it of course." Shinji soon realized what they're work out was going to be. The fear on the boys face was clearly evident. "Now don't worry Shinji, I know a secret about swimming that will keep those sharks from getting you or me." The boy's attitude suddenly brightened. "Wanna know what it is?" Shinji eagerly nodded his head. Id had a big grin on his face. "The secret Shinji..."  
  
The grin suddenly disappeared. "Is to keep swimming." The shield dropped.  
  
*****************  
  
Shinji awoke quickly, that memory had not been one of his better ones. The sharks had almost gotten him five times, only stop moving then go back to chasing him. He knew now it was because Id had put the shield back up long enough for him to get a lead ahead of the sharks then let it drop again to continue the race. While he knew that Id would not have let harm come to him, the memory was still not racked as his favorites. Looking out the window in his room, which was filled with the few boxes of possessions that he owned, Shinji quickly realized he'd be late for school if he did not get ready. Heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower, but first checking for any penguins, Shinji shampooed, and conditioned his hair, along with a quick soaping. Moving out of the shower, still slightly wet as he had not finished drying himself, he quickly got on his daily attire of a blue under shirt, white over shirt, black pants, and sneakers. He then made a quick breakfast, Shinji quickly (notice how much I've used that word) ate a cup ramen, and grabbed a pre-pared bento from the night before, sadly it was made by Misato. Getting out the door at exactly 6:42, Shinji would have enough time to make it to school, and a little bit for introductions.  
  
****************  
  
The Angel Shamsiel was in a bit of a dilemma. You see his Super Solenoid organ, or S2 organ, gave him unlimited power, this is true, he could power his energy whips as much as he wanted this was true, however one thing about this is that it taxes on his calories and metabolism, meaning one thing, he needed a quick bite to eat. The problem was the only meat source right now was this old man stuck in side his out house, porta potty for those of you who don't know. So here was his dilemma, he could not eat the old man and his crapping stall hope there was some other meat source nearby and eat that until he reached the next town. Or he could eat the portapotty itself along with the old man and what ever the old bag of wrinkles had 'dropped'. The first one sounded better, but there was no guarantee he'd find meat near here, he was in Death Valley after all, how insane was this geezer living out here. So it his choices were, eat the old man and his piss and crap, or don't eat it, and possibly die from starvation and become the biggest vulture feast in history. He made his choice.  
  
*Crunch*  
  
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The class of room 2-A was a some what small group. They had your average teenage groups, hot women, ugly women, handsome guys, ugly guys, geeky people, jock people, bossy people, albino people, and people with crushes in the hearts, people who crush hearts, people who just don't care, but never had they had a people err person, who could attract the attention of every girl in the class. It was something that Kensuke Aida took notice of very quickly; as he sat down in his chair he couldn't help but notice the attention of every girl in the class, besides Hikari, was drawn to a certain boy. This boy of whom Kensuke had never met or seen before seemed totally unaware of it however. Checking to see if one Rei Ayanami had also taken notice of the boy, no she was starring out the window as always. But if young Kensuke had looked close enough, he would notice the azure haired girl was tilting just a few millimeters towards the new student, and were one very good at reading people, you would notice a great deal of strain on the girls face. (In other words her eyes lids had moved up half a millimeter.) As though she was trying not to look at the young man, and was slowly failing.  
  
Shinji as usual was totally oblivious, why, you may ask? Well, he's just a wee bit anxious about introducing himself to the class. So his mind was kind of preoccupied. And well, when you're the new kid, people do tend to look at you, so past it off as just a routine thing. The door to the class room opened up revealing a boy with a slight tan, black hair, wearing a black tracksuit, some how the suit reminded Shinji suspiciously of Id. The boy sat down in a seat relatively far away from him to begin talking with a kid covered in freckles, wearing geeky glasses, and sandy blonde hair that needed a comb more than any person he'd seen. The two boys began talking of things that Shinji didn't particularly care about; he did however notice the boys glancing at him every now and then. Soon the teacher entered the room, ending all conversations immediately, and bringing with him a foul smell so terrifying and ancient that it had existed since Egypt's creation, as had the old man. Hikari being Class Representative went through the standard "Stand, Bow, and Sit." Procedure, to which every one followed, for to disobey Hikari Horaki was like bringing down the swift wrath of an evil dictator. Soon the teacher began droning on about Third Impact.  
  
Shinji was slightly relieved that he didn't need to introduce himself; he was never good with an audience. One thing that Shinji had noticed was a red laptop stationed on every desk, these computers seemed to be designed to take notes, chat to your friends without disrupting the class through E- mail, or personal chat rooms an interesting concept, however there was a problem, and it lied with Shinji. It wasn't that the boy was computer deficient, it was that as pre-Contact his powers acted some what randomly, especially with electronic devices, it was also one of the minor reasons he had been reluctant to pilot Unit 01. One time he'd been trying to order a sweat shirt online, instead he'd ended up creating the legendary Kill me virus, a computer virus that acts as a suicidal person does, gaining the pity of others and eventually their love. What the Kill me does is acts like a virus so badly made that it can't do any harm to a computer, so all anti virus programs just let it slip by, then in mutates and starts destroying every thing on a computer, and eventually becomes a part of the computer it self, so drastic measures like reformatting won't work. It was just a sign of how chaotic his abilities were, Id said it all stemmed from his lack of electrical power control, which had resulted in him being tied to a lightning rod, trying to absorb a nearby storms electrical energy, not one of his fondest memories I can assure you. So when a message appeared on his computer Shinji's old fear returned in earnest. The message read, and I quote "Are you the pilot?" Shinji looked around the room suspiciously, any one who could guess his status had to have some inside knowledge on who he was, they had to have been out of the shelters watching the battle between him and the Angel as it happened, because the news had stated it was just a misplaced N2 mine. (I wouldn't expect the government to come up with any thing less.) Who ever they are, they obviously already knew, so what was the point in hiding it, after all what could go wrong? Typing out "Yes." On his computer Shinji hit the enter button. Instantly Murphy's Law took effect as the class rooms power suddenly turned off. The change in lighting however did little to impede the teachers lecture. The class room door opened revealing a slightly middle aged woman with blonde hair just beginning to turn grey. "The cities in a black out right now, so we need every one to head outside until they fix the power, that will however only be until late in the after noon, outside classes however will continue as usual."  
  
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Shamsiel couldn't help but feel that life hated him. After he'd eaten the old man and his shed, he'd found an entire field of cows, what they were doing in the desert he had no idea. Of course at that time he'd been too disgusted with his previous meal to eat any thing, so he'd continued on to his destination. From the intelligence reports Sachiel had given him, based on the data collected by the now two headed schizophrenic, the lilum had a security grid that would announce his arrival as soon as he tripped the alarm, then they'd swarm him, and beat the shit out of him. (After his last meal I'd think that would be a good thing.) But something was puzzling him, based on reports the lilum should have come all guns blazing, yet they weren't, something didn't smell right, and it wasn't the anchovies market he was passing either.  
  
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Outside sports were not some thing Shinji liked, and for good reason. The workouts with Id as a child had been so much more challenging tough and for that matter painful. You see it wasn't that Shinji couldn't handle the sports, it was that he was so far ahead that sports like baseball, basket ball, football, they were far too easy, he was already beginning to miss his training days, that in it self was some what scary. Feeling a light tapping on his shoulder Shinji turned to see a particularly tall young man wearing a black track suit glaring at him with what seemed to be unrivaled hate. Knowing that the situation was tense, and depending on how he handled the situation could change the out come of what was about to happen. "Yes can I help you?" Shinji said, mentally analyzing the boy before him, trying to gauge his martial arts abilities. "Yeah you can!"  
  
Biff! (I've always wondered about that sound effect)  
  
Shinji keeled over in pain, the boy had just kicked him in the balls, he had expected possibly a punch to the solar plexus, maybe one in the face, but what this boy had just done was down right low! One of the things that Id had managed to teach Shinji in his training was that if a person hits you in the balls, then you have every right to cut off theirs. He wouldn't do that to this boy, no, he'd just break a few of his ribs, pull his arms out of their sockets, and drop a brick on his gonads to pay him back. Recovering from the excruciating pain of ball blow out, Shinji leaped at the young man before him, giving him a good head but, lightly stunning the boy. Then followed by a swift grab at the elbow that put the young man in a lock that if he moved at all he would break his own arm. Shinji looked in the young mans eyes, the hate was still there, the want to harm him. 'What could I have done to warrant such behavior?' Shinji thought. Slowly letting go of the boy Shinji began to calm down a little bit, breathing in and out through his nose. "Now, just who are you and why do you want to fight me?" The boys eye brows twitched in irritation.  
  
"You're the pilot of the large mech, right?" Shinji nodded. "Touji Suzuhara, pleasure to meet you. During the attack, my sister got stuck outside the shelters, she was trying to find friend of hers, who was lost in one of the buildings that was destroyed during your fight with that monster. She's in the hospital now because you couldn't pilot well enough!" Shinji raised an eyebrow at that last statement, some what confused as to this boy's predicament.  
  
"Let me get this strait, you're trying to beat me up, because I didn't take the exact hit that was coincidentally heading to the exact building your sister was in, so because I failed to protect her, even though I didn't know she was there, you're trying to hurt me, further hampering my lack of skills at piloting, resulting in more people getting hurt, that about it?" Touji of course didn't care, his sister was in the hospital, and this guy was trying to get out of retribution, how dare he! "Look, I'm sorry for what happened to your sister, but I can't go around taking every hit those monsters throw at me, just because of the possibility that some one might be in a building that's about to be destroyed, now if you will excuse me." Shinji then left Touji; the boy couldn't help but feel that his pride had been taken down a notch.  
  
*************************  
  
The schools had finally gotten power back on at around 3:00, just in time for the school bell and Angel alarm to go off. Recognizing the alarm from the previous day, the children, all but Shinji and Rei, quickly exited the class room to head to the nearest shelter. The two remaining students quickly exited the school post haste, heading to the front of said school they found a car awaiting them to take them to NERV. Receiving immediate orders to suit up while Rei sat on stand by, in case he just happened to be defeated, Shinji suited up in the plug suit that only now did he realize he would be seeing a lot of in times to come. Exiting from the men's locker room Shinji quickly pressed the button allowing the suit to conform to his body. The problem was with most skin tight clothing, the plug suit was designed by a woman. (I'm not a sexist. It's just that they usually fail to remember about certain parts of male anatomy that hurt when ever they are closed in tight like that.) So when the plug suit became air tight so suddenly, it kind of hurt. Cringing in slight agony, Shinji went towards the Eva cages. Pressing a button near the 4inch thick steel door located on a panel, the door slid open, revealing that same grinning face of Eva Unit 01.  
  
Sitting in the entry plug, just beginning the synchronization, Shinji couldn't help revile in the feeling of being 40 meters tall. Slowly the LCL rose and met Shinji's taste buds and nostrils. "That's odd, now it tastes like grape fruits." He thought to himself as the Eva was slowly set in place for the launch.  
  
"EVA LAUNCH!"  
  
Quickly the g-forces came to surround his body, the force was immeasurable, and he couldn't help but feel that the force was stronger than before. Hitting the surface Shinji was immediately informed of the situation. The Angel had snuck into (More like floated into) the city during the blackout, which at that time the alarms weren't working so it had gone in undetected. 'Some how I find that hard to believe.' He thought to himself. So during the time the power had gotten back on NERV had already begun trying to stop it with regular means of weaponry, so far they had been unsuccessful. When he'd asked where the Angel was the command crew had promptly told him to follow the explosions. He wouldn't need to do that however as the Angel came into view, its head was shaped like a squid, however it seemed to have a rather long back, much like a snake. Locating what appeared to be a pair of glowing green whips, which were melting everything they touched; Shinji quickly realized he would not be able to toy with this creature as he had the last one. "Misato, do we have any long ranged weapons for the Eva's?" The tactical commander quickly began running through the list of weapons that they had been able to create, despite their some what frail funding. "Yes there's a weapons building just a block down from your current position, there should be an assault rifle located there." Shinji needed nothing more, running up to the building Shinji ordered the Eva to press down on a small green button located on its side. The building swiftly folded down revealing a 90mm round assault rifle, 32 rounds in each clip, with a bandolier filled with spare clips. Strapping on the bandolier and placing the assault rifle in hand, Shinji charged into battle.  
  
'Ungggggg, I don't feel good.' Were the thoughts of Shamsiel as he destroyed another VTOL squadron. Oh the pain was unbearable, he didn't think he could go on, he needed to lie down, he needed some water, he needed to take a crap. *Kakakakakakakakakakakakakakaka.* the feeling of twenty sharp points digging themselves into his back. He then decided to turn around, not a good idea as one of the bullets hit him where his stomach was, where ever that is. Shamsiel keeled over in pain, he could feel his inner organs rumbling, he then began to rock back and forth, the world kept spinning and spinning for him.  
  
"Dr. Akagi, there seems to be some thing wrong with the Angel, can you scan it or some thing." The false blonde scientist then ran over to the console of Maya Ibuki, who had just played a jolly good game of solitaire, which was all she really could do on this lame computer system. Akagi pushed her assistant out of the way, and began to type like a mad woman (to have actually slept with Gendo, I wouldn't doubt it.). Then the statistics came flaring on the screen, revealing the Angels inner intestines, and trust me they weren't pretty. Finally getting enough information, she replied. "It seems to have ingested something its body couldn't process, hit it just below the head, in the core while you can." Needing nothing more Shinji pulled out his progressive knife and dashed in right in front of the sick Angel. Locating the core, which had turned a sickly green color he then began to stab it multiple times.  
  
That was all Shamsiel's body could take, his head then split down the center, revealing his reversed mouth, its teeth coming in from the sides, in the back there was a large purple tongue, which was twitching every now and then. Sensing that this was not a good time to stand in front of the Angel, stepping back a few blocks the boy then waited.  
  
Shooting from its mouth was a large amount of brown liquid, landing on the city floor, with what a appeared to be an out house in the center that kept shaking. Suddenly its door flew open revealing an old man with a really bad back problem wearing suspender over alls. He kept muttering something about 'dang nabbed youngsters, always waking me up in my office, why I never.' The old man waddled from the battle scene, and onto Death Valley, fading into the sunset.  
  
Shamsiel couldn't take it any more, the terrible food, the constant puns, and the lilums themselves, no wonder so few of them were pure hearted, they lived such terrible lives. Slinking up strait, Shamsiel then lit a cigarette, the cigarette being a few meters long. Jutting his core forward to give Shinji a perfect shot. Still keeping the large cigarette in his mouth, Shamsiel spoke. "Take le shot, my worthy adversary." It appeared he also had a French accent. Lifting the gun to give Shamsiel what he wanted, he fired. There was a huge explosion.  
  
**********************  
  
Waking up Shinji stared at a white hospital ceiling. With a frown on his face Shinji couldn't help but think. 'Ya know, if this keeps happening we're probably going to need to paint that.'  
  
Author's notes: good god, finally finished this chapter. Sorry for the long wait you guys, school kept me really busy, even though it's almost Christmas, it seems like teachers get more sadistic as you get closer to holidays. My fingers have also become numb due to the cold, so typing is very hard. That last sentence took me five minutes. We may see more Mina and Lita in the next chapter, all you hentia's are. Any how, you may notice as the story progresses that I've changed some of the Angels names, I have done this to fit my puns, which I must admit are slightly disgusting, what can you expect from watching stand up comedy all the time. Thanks for Reading and Reviewing, it means a lot to me as always. Sorry if this chapter sucked, I've been having writers block for the past few days. Thanks again. Have a nice day.  
  
Konous the grey. 


	6. Warp 5 Mister Sulu!

Author's notes: this will not be the last time I hate this, but I hate school! My teachers have been loading us with projects all the time that I haven't had any time to write. And what with finals, and Christmas coming up, getting chapters out will be harder, but I'll do my best, on this you have my solemn promise.  
  
My Guardian of Bloody eyes  
  
Chapter 5- Warp 5 Mr. Sulu!  
  
In the after life, the most common belief is that a person goes to either 1 of two places, Heaven or Hell. Hell..has nothing to do with this story, so it won't be mentioned. Heaven however does! Now it is that the guardians of Heaven, the Angels, are winged humans carrying a golden harp, wearing robes of the purest white silk, protecting people whenever they may be in trouble.  
  
Who ever wrote that was either high, or clearly had never seen an actual Angel.  
  
The best way to prove this would be to take you to Chicago, Illinois, where right now hundreds upon hundreds of people lined outside of one single building waiting for the doors of this building to open and start the beginning of Mega Con 2015. If you looked closely at the people waiting in line, you would also notice that most of these people had one thing in common. Each of them had specific qualities that grouped this line of people in one category that could only be called one thing.  
  
Geeks.  
  
Possibly the most humiliated form of human life in the universe besides the Anime Otaku; however it is a known fact that most geeks take it upon themselves to be Otaku as well. Which in the case of this line that was true, anyone could tell this you see for several reasons, the first being that everyone in the line was wearing T-shirts depicting Anime characters from many shows new and old. Another way to tell that these people were Otaku and Geeks was quite simple really, it has been a known fact, since history began that Otaku and Geeks tend to not be the most physically adept of people. Nor for that matter do they usually have much physical beauty. All of this seemed to be true just by glancing at the people in the crowd.  
  
Some were slightly pudgy going onto being fat, some even obese! Others were wearing very thick glasses that seemed to fall off their faces every now and then, to which they would have to push them back up again, only to have them fall a few seconds later. Others always took very deep nasal breaths when ever they breathed and was quite annoying, which would also explain why the gaps in the lines were so huge. Others had enough pimples covering their faces, and other areas of their body, that it was hard to tell if they were still even slightly human. Some people were made of combinations of these distinctly geeky attributes; one guy in the back of the line had all of these problems!  
  
But if a person were to look at the 2nd to last person in line, they would notice something unusual about him. This man could easily lift 350 pounds with his enormous biceps. His face had no blemishes in sight at all; his teeth were of an ivory so pure that poachers would seriously consider killing him for them. His skin was of a golden brown tan, due to many times over at the beaches of California where he grew up. Hell he wasn't even wearing an Anime T-shirt for god sakes! In one were to add all of this together (and not get 4), one would come to the obvious conclusion.  
  
This man was no Geek!  
  
But if he wasn't a geek then who is he, and why is he here?  
  
To answer the first question, his name is Pat Tooterson O'Malley. To answer the second it is quite simply this, while Pat himself is not a Geek, his girlfriend is. But not your regular geek, no she's only slightly geeky. To put it quite simply she's absolutely beautiful, but the only thing that makes her geeky is that she wears these really thick glasses that look REALLY geeky on her. Luckily for her Pat had thing for girls who have great bodies and wore glasses. The only thing geeky besides that was that she was an anime Otaku, so when this convention was scheduled for April 14, now today, she decided she had to go, but brought Pat with her. Now Pat didn't hate Anime, but he didn't absolutely love it like his girl friend did. So here he was stuck waiting in line for the next hour, when the convention would open up, and his girlfriend would go nuts over the new wall scrolls over El hazard, Digicharat, and many other shows. So this was a lot like slow torture.  
  
He let out a sigh of boredom, of longing to be back at his home with his girlfriend making out on the couch.  
  
"Pretty long line, eh?" Said a voice that woke Pat from his fantasy.  
  
Not turning around to look at who was talking to him, Pat answered. "Yeah, me and my girlfriend came a half hour earlier to get a line up front."  
  
"Looks like everyone else had the same idea." Returned the voice.  
  
Pat chuckled at the astute observation of the person behind him. "Yeah, looks like it." Pat checked his watch; still 45 minutes to go, damn! "I'm Pat O'Malley by the way, what's your name?" Pat asked as he turned around to get a look of who was behind him.  
  
However Pat didn't see a person there, no he did not! Rising up into the sky, so high it brushed the Sun, was a giant diamond. Pats mouth dropped down in aw.  
  
For Pat Tooterson O'Malley this would be his first encounter with a real Angel. But it would be the worlds 5th encounter with one of this race. For Pat O'Malley had just met Ramiel Angel of fortresses and Otaku's  
  
*************************************************  
  
Shinji stuck his head out into No-mans land (Until recently it was the hospital west wing hall way.)  
  
To put it quite simply, Shinji was in between a rock and a hard place. The rock was the fact that NERV hospital was almost completely made up of beautiful women and that there were about 1,000 of them. The hard place was the fact that he was getting closer to becoming a true Contact, so that certain 'urge' was in full swing, so his chances of resisting any ladies attempts to seduce him were about 0. So Shinji decided his best course of action would be to get the hell out of the hospital as soon as possible. Only problem was he didn't know the layout of the hospital or for that matter the way out!  
  
So Shinji figured his best course of action to get out of there was to get into the ventilation shaft and crawl his way from there to the out side generators that were hooked up to vents. Now he was glad he'd taken that course on mechanics back when he'd been tutored by Id. His only problem was finding a vent, while there were dozens lining the hallways anyone could spot him while he was trying to climb into the shafts. He needed secrecy, so his best bet was to find one of the bathrooms, which were sure to have at least one vent. Now he only needed to figure out how to get past all the nurses and doctors walking the hallways. One of the (few) male doctors was coming by his room to check up on him, Shinji readied the (metal) pole he'd ripped off one the IV's and planned to use it as a bludgeoning instrument as soon as the doctor walked through the door.  
  
Here he came!  
  
Shinji ducked back into his room and got into position to surprise his prey.  
  
The doctor walked through the door looking over the statistics of Shinji's recovery from the last Angel attack, so he was totally unaware of a metal pipe swinging down on his head from behind, of course that is until it hit him in the back of the head.  
  
"Sorry." Shinji said as he stripped the man of his clothes and placed them over his hospital gown. Picking up one of the breathing masks regularly seen around hospitals used to protect the doctors from breathing in germs. Apologizing once more to the unconscious doctor whom Shinji had tied to his bed, the pilot of Unit 01 walked out of his room disguised as Seymour Smageki.  
  
******************************  
  
Ramiel was not the type of Angel to watch the news. For one, it was boring as hell, it was always about some little boy or girl Michael Jackson had molested, or what stupid thing the new President of the United States had done.  
  
But today the news did catch his attention, from a large plasma screen T.V. set a top a large skyscraper, it was playing the commentary about the last two Angel attacks. This he was interested in because one he could take notes on his enemy's battle tactics from the images they were playing on the screen, and he could see exactly where his enemy was. Now this may confuse you, but the reason Ramiel can't figure out where to go is quite simple. An S2 organ needs a soul to power it. Because of this, God was using the souls of strongest fighters in the universe to power the organs; the problem was he'd used Ryouga Hibiki's soul, so Ramiel had inherited Ryouga's terrible sense of direction. So the only thing Ramiel could go on to figure out where his enemy's location was to try and memorize the surrounding area's layout. However the news changed headlines as a breaking news report came into the station.  
  
"On a sad not ladies and gentlemen, William Shattner has just died from choking on a pretzel."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed the Fifth Angel into the night. It shall also be noted that Ramiel is a die hard Star Trek fan.  
  
************************************  
  
Shinji had reached the bathrooms with no trouble; no one who he'd passed has suspected a single thing of who was. The obvious reason was that he and Seymour were of similar sizes, which had helped immensely. Looking along the ceiling for a vent to climb through, Shinji wondered to himself if all of this was necessary, that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let his urges go. But then he remembered the state his care taker Id was in. While Id had been of a father than any person in his life ever had, he still didn't want to end up like him.  
  
Locating a vent just above one of the stalls, Shinji then began to concentrate on using his Contact powers. While he could not use his powers to the extent that Id could, he could still do simple things, like telekinetically moving objects. In this case: unscrewing a vent, without a screwdriver. Pulling the grate down Shinji climbed up and into the ventilation shaft.  
  
For 30 minutes he crawled through that system of metal, trying to find his way out and into freedom. Crawling past rats that had escaped to the vents, and had taken the system as their home, coming to dead end after dead end, not knowing where he'd end up Shinji was beginning to lose hope.  
  
Then he heard it, it was so soft he'd almost thought he'd imagined it, but the second coming of a sound very similar to the first one destroyed that thought. Crawling as quickly as he could towards the sound Shinji at last came to another vent. Could this be his way out?!  
  
NOPE!  
  
As he looked through the vent grates Shinji realized where he'd ended up, and he didn't like it one bit!  
  
He was at the ladies showers over at the women's locker room of NERV. The sound had been their constant giggling. But wait a minute, full grown women do not usually giggle unless they were talking about something naughty, or were just plain giggling for absolutely no reason, which Shinji highly doubted was the reason in this case. Shinji's curiosity peeked; he decided to listen into their conversation to figure out what they were talking about.  
  
"Have you seen the new pilot?"  
  
"Yeah, my god have you seen an ass that perfect before?"  
  
"Sara!!!! You're married! But yes I have to agree with you on that, and those muscles, have they fixed up the surveillance equipment at his house yet?"  
  
"Yeah it's finished, what do you girls say to be on security duty to night?"  
  
"They've also set up cameras in the bathroom as well."  
  
'They're talking about me!' Then Shinji felt it, something he'd feared would happen ever since Id explained exactly what Contacts are. The shortened explanation was this; they feed on the feelings and emotions that are inclined to darkness. Anger, Envy, Greed, Hate, and Lust of any kind. To become a Contact you have to be made one by another Contact. But to actually jump start the transformation, you have to feel massive amounts of one of the 5 emotions. Needless to say, with all these women as beautiful as they were, naked, talking about him, and what appeared to be their own lusts for him, well it was speeding the whole thing up.  
  
Already he could see his arms becoming pale; see a bright red glow beginning to surrounds him. He tried to move his arm but it wouldn't budge. The women continued talking unaware of Shinji's plight, or in what kind of danger they were in!  
  
"Stop talking, run! Get out of here now!" Was what he wanted to say, to yell, but words would not come, his mouth would not move.  
  
He realized it was too late, he was going to transform and would hurt, no rape those women, and there was nothing he could do to stop it!  
  
"Well shower times over, let's go girls."  
  
They left the shower rooms, unaware of how close they had just come to being brutally raped. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief as the transformation slowly stopped, and the urge slowly ebbed away. Shinji took in long deep breaths, he'd come so close to transforming, he closed his eyes and slowly he fell asleep.  
  
*************************  
  
Now I know what you're thinking, WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG TO WRITE THIS! I shall answer this as best as I can, first, writers block, it had hit me hard, and the fact that I was writing the first chapter of The Watcher in the Dark, read the first chapter and tell me what you think. The next reason why this took so long was Christmas! Final Fantasy 10, which I have almost beaten, only took me 3 days to get where I am but now I'm stuck, this game kept me from writing my beloved story over here. But now my writers block has ended, so expect more chapters to come soon!  
  
If you didn't like this chapter I'm sorry, I'll try harder with the next. Also I would like to thank some people, my inspiration for writing this, my pre-reader NiteFlier, who has my deepest gratitude for putting up with my grammar errors. Otaku D man, possibly the King of Comedy, he writes the series Someday, Somewhere, to put it quite simply, one of the best god damn comedy fiction out there! And last but not least, my reviewers, good or not, your reviews have made me want to continue writing, make it better than it was before, you people have my sworn oath, I shall continue this series until it is finished! 


	7. Wait How do I make everything all wiggly

Authors notes: OIY! Man it has been a while. (Konous' readers throw fruits at him for taking so long.) I'm sorry with how long this chapter took me; people have been demanding that I continue Watcher in the Dark, well now it's time for me to catch up on lost time.  
  
My Guardian of Bloody eyes chapter 6-Wait! How do I make every thing all wiggly?  
  
Ramiel was a well known Angel in heaven. When he walked (or floated) down the street people screamed his name, begging for his autograph. However he had trouble giving them the autograph, due to the fact that he lacked hands.  
  
Yes few could deny his greatness; he had past angel school just 2 years after receiving his soul (the same one he was currently in possession of.). And here in the mortal plan, his AT-field could protect him from any form of bombardment that the puny lilum could throw at him. And even if they some how found a way past his AT-field, his skin was harder, and tougher than any material on the planet. The proton energy cannons located at every corner of his body could obliterate any form of matter in just seconds!  
  
No one could deny it:  
  
Ramiel was strong!  
  
Ramiel was powerful!  
  
Ramiel was great!  
  
Ramiel.............................................................was lost!  
  
"Man I am so lost."  
  
Indeed, the great Ramiel had found himself in some what of sticky wicket. He was currently in Canada, Quebec to be exact. Now you may be wondering "Why isn't he going to Japan?" Well there are three reasons:  
  
1. Due to him having Ryoga's soul; he was now getting lost on whole new scale. Every time he seemed to turn around, or move a simple inch, he'd end up in someplace completely different to where he intended to go.  
  
2. He felt angry at the time so he decided to take his frustrations from being lost out on the city and cause some wonton destruction.  
  
3. A new video game store was having a sale, "All video games 60% percent off."  
  
So naturally Ramiel decided to stay in Quebec; however he quickly realized he had a problem. You see the store with the games is about 1 story tall, and he is 40m tall diamond. This also added to the fact that he would have trouble playing the games, I mean after all, if tried to press a button on the controller he'd likely crush the damn thing.  
  
But while Ramiel was pondering he failed to notice that the clouds over head were turning a bit dark, and the air was becoming humid and dense. He also failed to notice that his soul was screaming at him to get out of there, but due to the fact that souls lack voices Ramiel did not hear it.  
  
He'd wish he could have. The reason being that not only did the S2 organs replicate characteristics of those whose souls are powering them, they also take on any curses that the soul acquired  
  
For as the rain fell upon him, Ramiel noticed something odd. He was getting smaller, and at an alarming rate. First 35m, then 23m, 12m, 1m, 2.5ft, and then the shrinking ended, leaving him no more than 6 inches tall. Confused and frightened, Ramiel waddled over to a newly formed puddle, which was big enough now to show his reflection.  
  
He gazed into the muddy water, which had mixed with the sand and gravel, which allowed him to get a good look at himself. Gone was silver steel skin armor which had protected him in many a battle. Gone was his bodies diamond shape, which although it served almost no purpose, it was a part of who he was, and therefore valuable to him. Replacing his silver skin was a charcoal grey leather skin. No longer did he fly, but he waddled on the ground via four tiny hooves that seemed too small to support his mass. Strutting out from his face was a tiny flat snout in the shape of an upside down heart. His eyes were large and round, though the pupils were tiny and actually seemed to merge with his irises. Ramiel then realized what he had become.  
  
He'd turned into a black piglet!  
  
This didn't really bother him; after all, he changed forms all the time when ever he wanted to sate his lust with one of his many concubines, so why should changing now affect him at all?  
  
And there was a plus to this; he was now small enough to enter the store. Taking this fact into effect he slowly waddled his way out of the street, and into the video game store. The door having been torn off in his vendetta of destruction of the city, posed no problem to him. Entering the store Ramiel began surveying the goods stacked up on the shelves when he suddenly realized he had a whole new problem.  
  
He was too short to reach the shelves.  
  
Tears slowly made their way down his piggy face deprived of one his few joys in life. Was he never again to experience the joys of pressing tiny controller buttons ever again? Would he never experience the thrill of defeating the final Boss enemy after nearly 12 hours of constant struggle and strife of zombie hoards and demons?  
  
Would he never again play Dance Dance Revolution?  
  
From the recesses of his soul a single name and phrase came to be that felt perfectly appropriate in this situation.  
  
"CURSE YOU RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  
**********************************  
  
Shinji awoke, feeling grimy, musty and dirty. That was to be expected; after all he'd just slept in ventilation shaft. Stretching out his legs, trying to get the stiffness out of them, he accidentally scared away some mice, which been approaching him to see if he could be eaten or not. Dust was scattered as he flailed his limbs, trying to get the white air borne dirt off of him. His eyes opened revealing him to be where he had been last.  
  
Right over the women's shower!  
  
Realizing his stupidity, Shinji looked down through the grates to see if any of the women had left.  
  
"Thank God." No one was in the locker room, which meant that this was his perfect chance of to escape. Rather than take his time with the screws, Shinji opted for the direct approach, and punched the grate right off. The grate fell to the ground with CLUNK.  
  
Stealthily as a ninja, Shinji fell down to the floor, landing without a sound. Shinji stood, pausing a moment to hear if the locker room door would open. It did not. Making his way to the door, making sure to minimalize the amount of sound that he produced from walking, Shinji slithered up to the door frame.  
  
Shinji opened the door to the hall, checking to see if any one was nearby. After all, he couldn't have someone think he'd been in the girl's locker room, perhaps trying to steal something. After all, he'd remembered the last time he'd been caught in the girl's locker room (Though not for any under wear he would assure you). Shinji shivered when he remembered how the dominatrix clad female student, tried to introduce him to the ways of S&M. Not one of his better memories.  
  
He shook that memory off. 'That was then, this is now, there's no one like that now so stop thinking about it!'  
  
With the determination in mind Shinji took his first out into the hallway.  
  
Yes nothing would happen.  
  
He was in the clear.  
  
He was home free.  
  
He was-  
  
"There you are Shinji!"  
  
He was in deep shit.  
  
Slowly turning around Shinji came face to face with the smile of Misato Katsuragi. But it wasn't your average smile; it was a smile reminiscent of the cat that ate the canary. "Shinji, what were you doing in the women's locker room?" All Shinji could do was stutter as the grin on Misato told him that he was in trouble. Oh yeah big trouble.  
  
"Hand them over Shinji." Shinji looked at Misato, confusion etched over his face.  
  
"Hand what over Misato?" The lavender beauty chuckled a little at the boys attempt at avoiding what both she and he knew.  
  
"Yeah good one Shinji, now look, if you just put them back where you found them I won't tell a soul that you were here."  
  
Shinji had absolutely no idea what Misato was talking about. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about Misato."  
  
See told you so.  
  
Now Misato was beginning to suspect that she might have jumped to conclusions. But she still had to be sure. She began tapping her foot in impatience, folding her arms across her chest, if Shinji could almost swear she was trying to show off her breasts. "Shinji, please don't make me frisk you." The look in her eye revealed that she did not mean what she said.  
  
"Misato, I have no idea what you are talking about!"  
  
'Time to get frisky!' Misato thought to her self with a grin. She spun Shinji around and pushed him against the wall, slowly making her way down his body, looking for what ever it was that she was searching for. Shinji noticed that as she made her way down to his buttocks, that her hands seemed to linger there for longer than was needed.  
  
After finishing her *very* thorough search, Misato confirmed that Shinji did not have any thing belonging to any female on his personage. Though she did find out that she would have to perform these frisk operations more often.  
  
"Misato, what were you looking for?" Shinji said with both eye brows raised.  
  
"Nothing you need to worry about Shinji. Now come on Shinji, let's sign you out and go home, I'm sorry I frisked you (You know she's lying). I'll cook dinner tonight to repay you."  
  
*****************  
  
"Dinner is served."  
  
After the ride home, which had been rather smooth in comparison to one of Misato's usual romps through the city, Misato and Shinji came home to a starving Pen-pen, whom had refused to eat anything Misato would make him, and almost demanded that Shinji make dinner.  
  
Finally a compromise was occurred. Misato would cook the dinner for her and Shinji, then Shinji would make Pen-pen's fish. Pep-pen had instantly agreed, since he wasn't going to be the one receiving the foul poison that was the toxic waste that Misato would make.  
  
And so Shinji stared at he plate of..............something, that Misato thought passed as 'curry', unless of course curry was acidic enough to eat through his plate, and now seemed to be moving on its own and growing a tentacle. Needless to say Shinji was a little reluctant to eat the 'gourmet' food before him.  
  
Shinji looked to his right at Pen-pen, whom was now sitting in the chair next to him, was wrapping his bib around his neck, readying his fork and knife, and began to gorge himself on the meal before him. Shinji looked over to Misato, who was now trying to catch her meal, which had crawled off her plate and had sprouted a hundred tiny centipede like legs and was now doing it's best to avoid Misato's hands.  
  
"Um, miss Misato?" Misato's head turned away from her food for just a moment to look at Shinji; thusly the food slipped between her fingers and dived through one of the apartment windows. It cackled in victory as it fell down the 4 story building and on to the ground below.  
  
"Damn lost it!" Misato cursed while snapping her fingers. Turning over to Shinji she gave him a warm smile that would turn normal men into goop.  
  
Luckily for Shinji he was not one who was familiar with the powers that females had over men and so was unaffected. "Yes Shinji? Is something wrong?"  
  
A very large sweat drop made its way down Shinji's head. 'The fact that our food grows tentacles and legs; just escaped out the window and is probably now road kill doesn't seem a little strange to you?' He thought to himself. Some how he was beginning to wonder if agreeing to Misato's idea to cook, dinner was such a good idea after all. In fact, ever since he'd come to live with this woman she'd managed to shrug off some of the most odd things he'd ever seen as 'normal'.  
  
"Shinji? Are you ok?"  
  
Snapping out of his revere, Shinji turned his head toward Misato who was now leaning forward, starring right into his eyes with both a worried and curious look. "Oh ah, sorry Miss Misato, um I wanted to ask you about how and why you came to work for Nerv, if it's not too personal?"  
  
The worried look instantly changed to serious as Misato took another sip from her beer. "No it's not too personal, you're my charge after all, and it's only natural that you'd want to know." Misato looked down at her beer can, holding it with only four fingers, as if she had not the will to hold it with all of them. "I think the best place to start would be where it all began, Antarctica. My father, in a fruitless act to mend the gap between us since he and my mother divorced, took me to their excavation of...." Yet before Misato continued she looked up from her can to let her eyes rest on Shinji. "I'm sure you know of the explanation for why the ice caps melted right?" Shinji nodded his head.  
  
"Yes, my teachers told me that it was a giant meteorite." Shinji said. At least that was what Id had told him to tell anyone who asked. Misato nodded her head once, lifted her beer can back and drank the last of it in one gulp. Throwing the can away and getting another from the fridge, Misato pulled the tab and sat back down.  
  
Taking another swig Misato stared Shinji with a look of utmost seriousness. "Okay Shinji, what I'm about to tell you is a secret, only Nerv personnel can know this, so don't tell this to any of your little friends." Once more Misato took a sip, not gulp, swig, but just a sip, maybe 3 ounces of beer, that's all. "The truth is Shinji, is that Antarctica was not destroyed by a meteorite, it was destroyed by an Angel. I would know because I was there, I saw the creature rise from 100ft of ice, the same one that caused Second Impact. Its name Shinji is Adam. When I first got to the excavation site I saw it for the first time, still frozen in the ice. Shinji, there is no way to describe this creature, words will not describe what it looks like, just that it is far more gruesome, than any of the Angels you've seen already. That Angel Shinji is one of two reasons why I joined Nerv."  
  
************  
  
I stood frozen before it; my body could not move away from it, and my eyes would not let me look away from it. Even when it was frozen in the ice Shinji, I had the feeling that it could see me, its mouth was grinning, a smile of a beast that recognized easy prey. Its eyes were trained on the exact spot I was standing on, looking straight at me; each eye was nothing more than endless abyss, with small red dot right in the middle. It had felt like an eternity had passed before my father broke its power over me, and told me to head to my room. I stayed in that room when ever I could; the only time I ventured out was when I got hungry. Finally one day after not eating for a day and a half, my hunger over took me, and I had to head out to the cafeteria. The problem was that there was only one way to the cafeteria, and the only path to get to it, went right through where Adam was buried.  
  
When I opened the door Shinji I saw something that frightened me almost as much as Adam did. There was a man standing in front of Adam as it grinned down at him, the man just grinned back at the beast. His posture was confident; one hand was hanging loosely by his side, the other against his hip. As soon as I saw him, I knew he shouldn't have been there, as if his presence alone disrupted the very fabric of reality. He wore the same lab coat that everyone in the building wore, yet the lab coat seemed too loose in some places, and too tight in others. Slowly he turned his head towards me, his grin growing ever wider.  
  
"You, little girl," He yelled to me. "Check out the pop-sickle?" His face turned back to Adam, still he continued to grin. I don't know what possessed me to walk up to him, but some how, I ended up standing right next to him, and I finally got a good look at his face. He was pale Shinji, really pale, even more so than Ayanami, at first I thought he was albino, due to the fact that his eyes were a deep red. But his hair, which was just as red as his eyes, disproved that, since albino's can only have either white or light blue hair.  
  
"Ugly ain't he?"  
  
"I'm sorry?" I had been too caught up with staring at his features understand what he said.  
  
"Big bad Mr. Frost giant over here. He's just but ugly." He said indicating Adam.  
  
"Well, he's not that scary just..........................a bit spooky is all." I rubbed my hands together to bring about some warmth, but the room just kept getting colder.  
  
"Bet he wishes he was on our side of the ice, eh? Probably wishes he could be the free one, while we sit in the ice." I'm not sure how I figured it out, but I knew right then and there, he was mocking Adam, as if they knew each other. And when I looked at Adam, his eyes seemed to be staring right at the man and nothing else; I could feel am emotion coming from that gaze, it was...................hate.  
  
Right then I noticed the ID badge on the mans coat, the picture on it was of a different person than the man, I also noticed the faint smell of blood permeating the air around him, it was then I knew, this person shouldn't be here.  
  
Suddenly the man began to chuckle, not laugh yet but slowly it grew into one. "What do you think little girl, would happen if this creature got out?"  
  
I took a step back, just to put some distance between me and him, it was obvious that this man was not in the right mind at the moment. "I-I-I d- don't know." My fear of this man only increased with his response.  
  
"Well then why don't we find out, eh? Would be pretty interesting huh? Maybe even a little fun." His laughter rose and rose, as if the thought of Adam escaping was the funniest thing in the world to him. "Tell me little girl, the Lance of Longinus, is supposed to be inserted into this creature tomorrow, correct?"  
  
"Yes I believe so." Father had told me much about the project; I knew some things most people would get shot for knowing without proper clearance.  
  
His laughing lowered down to a good natured chuckle. "Excellent, well little girl you've just spared your self a very painful death." He turned around and walked towards a nearby door, yet before he could leave I needed to ask him something.  
  
"Wait! Who are you?"  
  
He craned his head around to stare me right in the eyes.  
  
"I'm called, the Destroyer of God."  
  
*******************  
  
"The next day, the Lance of Longinus was inserted far too far into Adams core, so far in fact that it couldn't have been some computer error, it was shoved into him. And some how Shinji, I think that man might have been the one who caused it." Misato looked up at Shinji, who was now leaning forward, enraptured by her story. "And that Shinji is the second reason why I work for Nerv."  
  
Despite the fact that he was raised by the man who Misato was searching for, Shinji had to admit, it wouldn't be below Id to cause Second Impact, in fact, it almost seemed fitting. After all, one of Ids two favorite things to do was to cause mass holocaust, and to cause mass destruction. One time Shinji had asked Id "Why do you like killing people papa?"  
  
"Because it's fun Shinji, one day you will grow to love it like I do. Now pay attention to the lesson, the art of raping women then killing them after wards takes much finesse, and brute force......."  
  
Needles to say Shinji had been 7 at the time and his memories of Ids lessons (like quite a few of his memories) was not the fondest of things he remembered from his child hood. Though not all of them were bad, some were in fact quite good, though few in number they may be.  
  
"Shinji, wake up!" Shinji shook his head to rid his mind of the memories of his past. He came to the site of Misato leaning over the table, starring at him right in the face, also giving him a very nice view of her cleavage. "If you don't eat it Shinji, your food will get away." Shinji starred down at his plate of food, the food was being held down by Misato's hands. "Go on eat it, not as if it's going to kill you?"  
  
Shinji seriously questioned this woman's sanity if she thought that the horrendous mutation upon his plate could actually be edible. But then Shinji's conscience reminded him that he hated to hurt women's feelings, so he took a bite, and swallowed.  
  
Later that night after he had vomited his food into the toilet, and lied in bed with a 102 degree fever, Shinji promptly wished his conscience would burn in hell.  
  
*********************** Authors Notes 2: not that most people read these, but I've figured out a way to write stories relatively quickly, while not putting out much effort daily. You see every day from now on I'm going to write at least 30 minutes a day, and hour if I can. It's amazing how much you can accomplish in that amount of time. Also I think you all should check out a website called  
  
  
  
It is the location of a rather large amount of Eva lemons, and other lemons involving different series, if you just look around you can find a lot of stuff. It's not the main page though so you'll need to look around a bit, but if your going to write anything there, be sure to check your grammar, because these guys are evil! EVIL I SAY!  
  
Well I hope the next chapter comes out faster, I'm sorry I can't make any more excuses, this one took so long, because I was lazy, you can blame me whole heartedley.  
  
I would also like to thank the following people, who have been the greatest of help to me.  
  
Zentrodie and Otaku D-man-They remain the inspiration for my comedy fics.  
  
NiteFlier-my pre-reader, good friend, and some what psychiatrist.  
  
Dan Snyder-Dan Snyder is my guidance for writing serious stories, or just stories in general, and it was through his teachings that I am as good as I am today. 


	8. Yes there might be a plot

Authors Note: Does anyone actually read the author's notes? I know I do, but does anyone else, makes you wonder why we even put these bloody things here. Also, I've decided to make Ramiel a permanent character in this series. I would first off like to thank these people in particular for help in my writing

China Boy-whose review got me off my lazy but and back in to daily writing.

Danny le fou- He informed about what happened to the URL I put in the last chapter, it is now fixed, SO READ THE FICS OVER AT THAT SITE, THEY'RE DAMN GOOD!

NiteFlier-One of my pre-readers for this fic, he is also a good friend of mine, at least I like to think so, I realize I should get some more but I don't know if should ask through a fic, or through specific email.

Uliet- My ass kicking controller friend who commonly can be found in the company of his singularities the Bobs.

Zentrodie-Who I am honored to have as a pre-reader, thanks a lot Zen.

Disclaimer- Also why do we put these disclaimers here? I mean it's not as if the owners of an illustrious Anime company are going to be spending their time browsing fan fiction sites, looking for people who have not put in their disclaimers.

On that note, I do not own Xenogears, Ranma, or Evangelion.

My Guardian of Bloody eyes Chapter 7- The Chosen of God

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!!!!!!" Yelled the dead spirit of Ryouga Hibiki who was lost within the confines of Ramiel's body, acting as the power source for the angel, which didn't look much like the inside of a person's body. With a person the insides normally contain organs, veins, a skeleton, muscles, etc; but that wasn't what Ryouga's spirit saw, no what he saw was something that looked a kin to a video game arcade, which from Ryouga's view out side didn't seem very big at all. Ironically what Ryouga did not see was that the only other thing besides the arcade was an Anime store sitting right next to it, and that everything else, was pure nothingness. Which despite how much emphasis this author is putting on it, meant only one thing.

Ramiel life was devoted only to Anime, and video games, which when you think about it, is really sad.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that yelling never solves anything?" The sound of another voice besides his own was not something Ryouga's soul had heard in quite sometime, however it was never able to register this fact as it was hit with a wine bottle upside the head. Of course this is the spirit of Ryouga right, so he's going to be fine right?

Wrong!

Ryouga was in amount of pain one only receives after a late night drinking binge proceeded by a dive into the sidewalk head first from the top of a three story building. Now many of you are wondering, why the hell would Ryouga be hurt by a bottle of wine, I mean come on the guys survived the Boxai Tenketsu Breaking Point training, it made his skin hard as rock, so why would wine hurt him? Well there in lies the answer, while the Breaking Point Technique may have made his _skin_ rock hard, Ryougas spirit has never been very strong at all. I mean really you could snap it in two with a stuffed animal. Anyway back to the story.

Shaking his head free of the little stars that appeared inside his head Ryouga got a good look at his assailant. What greeted Ryouga was a 56 year old man in dire need of a hair cut and a shave, his clothes consisted of a pair of brick red pants and a wool jacket that had seen better days in the stone age, and were fairing even worse now. Ryouga almost expected his shoes to be half gone, he was wrong. The man didn't have shoes, though that didn't really matter; the man had a carpet layer of hair covering the tops feet.

Yet despite all this Ryouga did not find himself worried at the sight of the man, after all he'd been to California and New York plenty of times and had met his fair share of haggard people, heck he sometimes was one every now and then, depending upon how his fights with Ranma went, so he usually ended up being haggard a lot.

But that still didn't mean Ryouga wasn't angry for getting smashed with a wine bottle. Sliding one foot in front of the other Ryouga got into his battle stance with a practiced ease and prepared to pummel the old hobo out of his state of uncleanliness.

"Woa relax boy, I'm not here to fight you, and fact is I'm here to help you."

Ryouga began to study the hobo, time spent with Nabiki Tendo had taught Ryouga not to trust people all at once, and quite frankly this guy just didn't seem right, he didn't seem…….human.

"Look we can do this one of two ways, the easy way…….." The man never finished his sentence as Ryouga punched him in the sternum, causing the man to lose all his air and fall to the ground on his hands.

"How about we do it my way." Ryouga said grinning as the man coughed as he tried to regain his air. "Look pal, I don't hate you, but no one orders me around, now tell me where I am, then beat it." Ryouga was not happy, Akane wasn't anywhere nearby, and so that meant he couldn't tell her he loved her. And Ranma wasn't around, so he couldn't fight him. And that made Ryouga frustrated, which inevitably lead to depression, but right now he was frustrated, and there was this old guy here, acting like he could tell him what to do. So all in all, it was a very typical reaction from him.

After the hobo was done coughing, he stood up, and began to speak. "Not surprised you're so strong; if God put you here then you gotta be good." Ryouga looked at the man with a careful eye, trying figure out what the heck the hobo was talking about. "It's no wonder the boss wanted to recruit you, I mean, with the war going on, we need all the help we can get." The hobo wiped his brow with a dirty hanky, covered in snot, grime and well just plain ugly stuff.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Ryouga asked with a 'Tell me now or you dead tone.'

"I guess I should start over from the beginning." The man said grinning from ear to ear. "I Ryouga am Sam the Demon Poverty; I've come on behalf of lord Lucifer to recruit you for the legions of hell."

In the year 2015 there is a very strong belief among the common people of the world that all the great cities, towns, and civilizations pre-dating the fall of Rome had vanished with the coming of 2nd Impact. They believed that there were no longer any people who believed in Gods, magic or universal forces, it was just fairy tales to make the world seem a lot simpler. And to them their beliefs seemed just. I mean after all how can something exist if there isn't proof of it?

But as it is known to those who tend to think out side of the norm, things are proven because people think they exist, just because no one thinks there are any civilizations or people that believe in Higher Forces, doesn't mean they don't exist. And right now, in a room that in it self does not exist a meeting is taking place between a set of people whose very existence goes against the belief of the common people.

12 rectangular monoliths appear inside the room which does not exist, each of them the same except for the numbers in red labeling them. "We have a problem." Monolith number 8 says using a synthetic voice module used to hide who he or she is.

"Indeed, the Dead Sea Scrolls never said anything about this, after he came in contact with the Zohar Modifier Fei should not have split into his alternate persona, something has gone wrong!" States the monolith known as 9 the voice of an old woman permeating from it.

A cough resounded through out the room, turning towards the sound of the cough all of the monoliths came face to face, err face to hologram? Whatever any way most of them looked at him. "Gentlemen it is known by this committee, that Fei was re-united as one by the Supreme Being, there for, whatever caused him to be 'split' again, must have been so devastating to him, that not even Gods power could prevent it. All we have to do is mend this problem, then Fei will be re-united, and Id will no longer exist." As usual Gendos face was a mask unreadable by the greatest poker player alive, but still you could not help but notice the amount of fear permeating his voice. None could blame him; after all if you knew that there was a man with the powers of God at his disposal, no less a very vindictive, if not psychotic man, you wouldn't be all that confident either.

"Ikari is right," Gendo and 11 of the monoliths turned to Seele 01, also known as Keel Lorenz, who had on this occasion turned off his hologram, revealing himself before the committee. Keel was old, very very very very old; one of the oldest living humans on earth, bionic implants had sustained his life well beyond the limitations of normal people. The visor placed over his eyes, which made him look very much like Jordy Laforge, and the metallic hands showed for fact that Keel was more machine than human. "We can not let our selves lose our calm; Id has not won yet, and most likely does not know of our existence. Our best chance is to find a way to revert him back as Fei, we will strike. This meeting is adjourned."

As one the monoliths and Keel disappeared, leaving Gendo alone in the room. "Id………..what has brought you back?"

"You're a what?" Ryouga said slowly backing away from Sam and going into a loose battle stance. In his living life Ryouga had tangled with magic a lot, big understatement, and had long since grown weary of approaching anything that involved magic, voodoo, hocus pocus or any such thing normal in Nerima.

"A demon," Sam said exasperatedly. "you know Hell, eternal suffering, evil, darkness, CNN; you get what I'm talking about, right?" Hesitantly Ryouga nodded, though he did not get out of his stance, continuing to appraise the demon. "Look kid I know you know some of that martial arts stuff but trust me it isn't gonna count for shit here."

Ryouga looked at Sam disbelievingly, as far as he had seen martial art could do anything it wanted, especially in Nerima. But he was more interested this time in where he was now, though it wouldn't matter, he'd just get lost again. "Where is here any way?"

Sam reached into his coat pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, after opening up the pack and pulling one the mini cigars out of the packaging, he placed its butt in his mouth lighting the front without using his other hand to guard the flame. "We Ryouga," He said in a slightly muffled voice, since he refused to take the cigarette out to speak. "are inside the consciousness of the 5th arch Angel, also known as Ramiel, partly known as the angel of thunder, but better known for his choice of worldly fulfillment." Ryouga understood every word Sam said, except for the last part, at which point his face turned into a frown of confusion. Sam hung his head low, taking a deep breath and sucking in the smoke from his cigarette.

"He only likes video games, and anime, hence he is better known as the Otaku Angel, Angel O, or the more comical name Glass Ass, don't ask where it came from because no one knows. Anyway, Ryouga, you have unfortunately become the power source for this angels S2 organ, which basically turns the souls of the dead into unlimited energy. You Ryouga are the soul they chose. Now based upon your earlier reactions, I'm guessing you had no idea about all this?" The rather blank nod Ryouga gave Sam was more than a sufficient answer. "Okay kid, I'm going to give the facts to you straight. There is another great war about to take place, between Heaven and Hell, to decide the fate of humanity. On one side you have God and his Arch angels, who are pissed at the humans for ruining the Earth, even though he gave them total access to it in the first place, he wants to destroy humanity and restart. Then there's Hell, led by Satan, the dark lord, master of destruction, husband of God-" Ryouga chose that point to interrupt.

"Wait; did you just say 'Husband of God'?" Ryouga looked at Sam like he was nuts, most avid Christians would have agreed.

"Oh geeze kid don't tell me you don't know about Satan and God being married? Oh wait, in Earth what gender is God?"

"Well if I remember from my visit at a Christian church, they seemed to act like God was a man."

This however seemed to send Sam into a fit of laughter, the man keeled over on his side, loud guffaws exiting from his mouth. "Sorry, but that's the funniest thing I've heard since Martin Luther made his 95 thesis. No, God is a woman, Satan is her husband and the entire war between Heaven and Hell is simply what you might call a 'Lovers Quarrel'. You see some how Satan pissed God off to the point where she banished him to Hell, which in this case is the equivalent of being sent to sleep on the couch for a month." After finishing off his cigarette, Sam mysteriously pulled another one from behind his back and began to smoke it as well. "Now in order to make sure Satan stayed in Hell, God created the 17 Arc Angels, and Gods Chosen One. What we are inside of is Ramiel the 5th Angel of the 17."

"You Ryouga, against your will, have been denied paradise in Heaven, and are now being used as a power source for Ramiel. Now here's what is known so far about the wars current status. So far the Score is 1 to 2, with Satans Angels in the lead. However something has occurred that no one ever expected to arise. I spoke of a person known as the Great Chosen warrior, what that is Ryouga, is the title of being Gods Avatar."

"However, years ago, by making his life eternal suffering, Satan corrupted Gods Chosen One. In doing so he turned him into a monster, a beast with only 1 desire, to destroy everything around him. Well over a million years ago, it was thought that the Chosen One had gotten over his hatred of the world, and had returned to being a servitor of God. However when the final great battle is about to commence, he returns and with an apprentice, once again angry, but no one knows why." Taking a deep sigh Sam extinguished his 2nd cigarette. "And that Ryouga is why we want to recruit you; we want you to find out why the Chosen one is back."

Pausing a moment to take a deep breath Ryouga weighed the pros and cons of joining Hells army. He had already been denied paradise, which meant there was no chance of him going to Heaven, which made his choice obvious. "Before I sign up I want to know one thing." Sims head perked up showing that he was all ears to Ryouga questions. "What is the name of the Chosen One, and his apprentice?"

"The Chosen One is called Fei, or once was, now he's called Id, as for his apprentice, he's called Shinji Ikari."

Shinji awoke to the sound of rampant squawking the morning after his ingestion of Misatos cooking; he felt quite good considering the events of last night. But when taking those events into account, he really was lucky to have even lasted the night. Rolling over in his bed he saw an irate Pen-Pen standing beside his bed. How do you tell a bird is irate you ask? Quite simple, when a fowl waves a clever at your face squawking "GET THE HELL UP AND MAKE MA FOOD DAMMIT!" then it isn't that hard a thing to infer. Of course it sounded more like "WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK."

Groaning as only one can from ingesting Misato's cooking the night before Shinji stood straight and tall like only an un-hardened penis does after seeing an 80 year old person strip naked. Walking in an almost zombie like fashion Shinji walked out of his room and into the kitchen. Pen-Pen followed him every step of the way, making sure he did not wander off in a daze or fall asleep. Because after all Pen-Pen wanted food, and what Pen-Pen wants, Pen-Pen gets, regardless of what side effects the boy might feel.

Pen-Pen watched in rapt attention as Shinji opened up a can of sardines, poured them out onto a frying pan, and expertly added a few seasonings and soon a masterpiece of the culinary arts was brewing in the pan. A sudden loud and obnoxious noise filled the air, a noise that we all know and hate; it was an alarm clock, more specifically Misato's. "Shut up damn it!" Followed by the sound of an alarm clock hitting a wall, followed soon by a base ball bat being implemented to finish off whatever might be left of the clock. And out from her room stepped Misato, who looked as ravishing as a newly made dog turd. Her hair in disarray and heavy circles under eyes, all due to a hangover incurred the previous day.

Walking over to the table, and grabbing a beer along the way, Misato sat down to enjoy her morning ritual, the drinking of the beer. Finishing the golden liquid with an un-maidenly cry of "YEAH!" Misato proved once again, just because you're an adult, doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Returning his attention to the sardines Shinji placed them on a paper plate and onto the table. 'At last,' Pen Pen thought to himself, 'sweet fishy delight, you are mine!' Unfortunately for Pen Pen, and the stove which hadn't been turned off, at that moment the Angel alarm went off. Knowing that there was work to be done and Angel ass to beat, Misato ran from the kitchen, to her room, got dressed, and ran out the door with Shinji, without getting another beer on the way out. Of course this leaves Pen Pen, our beloved fowl with a problem, the sardines are on the table, and his flippers weren't strong enough to lift him to the chair. This left Pen Pen with only one possible reaction.

"DAMN IT!" Or "WARK!" Either one fits.(That was actaully a tribute to Wark Wars, love your fic man.)

Girding his loins(Who the hell came up with that one?) Shinji mentally prepared himself for the fight that would ensue. 'Did I leave the stove on?'

Once again unto the breech, once again to fight the forces of evil/Heaven, once again in his Evangelion.

And once again in a metal tube filled with a fruit juice mixed liquid.

Oh yeah, Earth is doomed.

Catapulted up into the air, going through G-forces that without the FJML, Shinji would have been crushed. As he reached the surface he came face to face with Ramiel.

Ramiel was not having a good day, he'd gotten lost so many times he was now offered frequent flyer miles by the Air plane companies, which he'd promptly blew up, damn money grubbing lilum. But as it were, some how some way, Ramiel had found a loop hole in the curse, you see the directional curse given to him by Ryouga's soul, you see if he tried to go someplace else, like say a Star Trek con, he'd end up going to another place. However, he thought "That's it I quit, I'm going to the William Shattner memorial convention in Mississippi." Well as you know Ryouga's curse takes you every where BUT the place you want to go, so he ended up in Tokyo 3, so now he was itching for some Trek merchandise, girls dressed as Klingons. So what do you think he does when he sees a purple horned freak shoot up from the ground, a certain freak he has to kill? That's right, he shouts a cheesy one liner. "FIRE ALL PHAZERS!" And well for Shinji all was…..pink.

Authors note 2:Awsome finally done, sorry about the long wait, CoH really is addicting, I'll get on Watcher in the Dark now, thanks for being patient. By the way, that whole sardine bit with Pen Pen was an homage to PenWars, that fic rules man.


End file.
